I win for "Grossest New Year Anyone Can Probably Be Experiencing"

Happy new year!

Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!

More about that later.

As I was saying, Happy New Year!

You know who is NOT happy today?



Me.

You know who is even more unhappy than me today?




The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.

Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?

(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)


Yup. Disgusting.


You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.


So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.

Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.

Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."

"Okay!" I chirped.

So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.


Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.

"What?!" Mike said.

"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.

"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."

"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."



WELL APPARENTLY THEY CAN!


Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!


The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.

The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.

That brown liquid had flies on it.


"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.

"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.


We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.


We were both wrong.

We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.

Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.

A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...

OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......


I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!

"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.

"Might be funny later," I shrugged.

No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'

And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.


So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.


The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.


It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.

The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.

I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.

The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.


The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??

It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.

And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.

Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.

My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.

One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!

My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.

All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.

Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!

Poured Dettol down every possible surface

Dettol is awesome!


And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.

There.

We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.


So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.


When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!

(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)


The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!


Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.

About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!


Imagine that.

Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!


Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.

Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!


Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!

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So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!

Creative, huh?!

At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.

I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"

"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.

After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!

But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.


Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!


I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...


But honestly though... I quite understand.

I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.

That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.

Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??


I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.

Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D


I'll update with USA pics soon!!


p/s:

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Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!

Hot-blooded houseguests

The undeniable glamour of tropical plants is temptation indeed for gardeners who live in cold-winter climates. Those three-foot leaves; those lethal, trumpet-shaped Datura blooms--they're all Ava Gardner compared to the Doris Day domesticity of our faithful hollies and lilacs.

So in early summer we succumb, we buy, we lug them around the garden to just the right spot, we rush out with sheets as the evenings get colder. And finally we have to do it. One day turns far too chilly and we invite them to crowd indoors with us until spring.

Ava Gardner, with her long cigarette holder and her way of taking over a party, was sensational outside in a large garden. Living with her at close quarters is another matter.

Just how many times do you want your face slapped by a banana leaf as you edge your way through the dining room this winter?

Sacred Commissions

It's a blue gray afternoon here near the lake--a perfect day to be tucked away in the studio with a "kick-in-the-pants" cup of coffee catching up on commission work. I've been doodling and googling all afternoon working on gathering notes and getting down initial blocks of color for a special custom altar piece. I always feel incredibly honored when someone asks me to create work for their sacred spaces! Such a treat!
Though most times it is an invigorating experience, sometimes being asked to make an intensely personal piece can be a little overwhelming. For example, this past summer I had a client ask me to create a Day of The Dead inspired memorial piece for her mother and auntie who passed away a few months prior. They died together in a tragic auto accident in the spring and she wanted a work that illustrated their friendship as sisters and impact as mothers.

Woah.

That is Heavy...

"El Dia des Los Muertos" by Molly Roberts 2008

As we discussed the details of the work it was obvious that her hurt was still very fresh. I scratched down notes trying my best to keep up as she recited memories and lists of her mothers favorite things: "violets, butterflies, lilies-of-the-valley..." As much as you try to relax and be creative while working on a piece like that there is a pressure that is present. You want the work to be perfect--it has to be perfect. It's not only a decorative artwork that needs to be aesthetically pleasing and functional within the living space. You know what you are making is part of the family's grieving process. You're not just drawing and gluing--You are an active part, you are helping in the healing. Every bit of foil, every spot of ink counts. Needless to say, it can be intimidating.


Fortunately, this current piece is being created for a more joyous occasion and magickal purpose! And after a fruitful visit to the natural museum yesterday afternoon with my Muffin, my brain is full of scaly wings, star fish spikes and primal cave paintings--a festoon of new patterns and visual rhythms just waiting to spill out onto canvas! Back to work!

What sort of objects or images do you have in your private,meditative or sacred sanctuary space?

*~Many Blissings & Merry Making, Friends!~*

Mantra Monday

And the Goddess Give Away Goodies go to...

the Dazzling Dia! Hooray!

Thank you to everyone who visted and contributed to the creative discussion! It was incredibly interesting and invigorating to read everyone's merry making plans! I wish you all the Best of Luck in your experimental and imaginative endeavors. Go forth and make that gravy! I'll be posting another give away for spring in a few weeks. Stay tuned! :)

This week I decided to jump on board with the Trinket Queen Jennlui and participate in Mantra Monday. (Go take a peek--Anyone can play!) I can't think of a better way to start the week than with a new moon and a meditative moment quickly concocting a magickal message. I wanted to create a card that encompassed my spiritual and professional goal for the year ahead.

Proceed with Peace & Purpose.

What will your message be, my pretties?

Many Blissings!~*

Winter Garden: Kathleen Alcalá, Bainbridge Island, Washington

Award-winning author Kathleen Alcalá lives on Bainbridge Island. The current conditions have given her a White Garden effect that outdoes Vita Sackville-West's at Sissinghurst.  What is it with authors and white gardens?

Bainbridge Island is due west of Seattle, a 30 minute ferry ride across Puget Sound. Kathleen's garden has unusual but lovely amounts of snow for this Zone 8 area. We'll look at it again in the spring, I hope.

Pearl is not a winter-sports enthusiast. Kathleen says Pearl is concentrating all her energy on trying to make the snow go away.

EXPECT THE BEST-OPTIMISM'S SONG

Suggestion Gouache on paper 18 x 25 cm 2008

Well, Christmas Day has been and gone for 2008. I had a wonderful time with my family. We spent a few days together in Maleny which is in the mountains behind the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. It is beautiful, green, pretty, has rolling hills, fat cows and mild weather...and my Mum is a fab cook, so we have returned home a bit fatter.

After doing lots of Christmasssy things like attending a very moving Christmas candle lighting service at Unity Church [which preaches from a metaphysical perspective] , singing carols, being with family and generally just slowing down it is obvious to me that letting go a normal routine of frantic activity is absolutely necessary to gain perspective of oneself! Yes, it has been awhile since I slowed down!

I also think that letting go gives the potential for optimism to sing its song. As some things which may seem important in a frantic life drop away in significance a recalibration of priorities can take place. I suppose this is where New Year resolutions may be found!

So, over the years I have thought about the idea of New Year resolutions but I've never really made any mainly because of an underlying niggly feeling of inbuilt failure. I think maybe this was because the resolutions had more to do with controlling a frantic life rather than being truly alive. I have decided that for 2009 I will make only one resolution and that is to expect the best.

Expecting the best does not mean I have a predetermined idea of what is the best! Indeed, whatever is 'the best' sometimes may not be evident until the magic of hindsight reveals it.

I have been painting on paper lately exploring the tree-of-life motif which I love and also investigating ways to satisfy my need to expose the beauty of water. The latter is about my observations growing up on a farm, living out west and witnessing the transformation of water from a free and reliable resource to something which has become a commodity...and all the ramifications this entails.

A recent nostalgic trip back to my birthplace of Dalby with my youngest daughter has inspired me even more. It has been 14 years since I visited Dalby, my parent's old farm and other places of personal significance. It was a great trip and my daughter thoroughly enjoyed seeing where Mum grew up. I have to say the land and crops [mainly sorghum] are looking fantastic.

Over the next many weeks I am concentrating on more works on paper. I also have some ideas for new oil on linen paintings. I have applied for an exhibition and will be entering various competitions ...and expecting the best!

Happy New Year

Post Chaos Cleansing

I've managed to awaken from the food induced coma that came with the holiday's cookie platters and four course meals. It was wonderful fun to visit with my tribe and as always, my mom and brother prepared The Feast of a Life Time for all of us to enjoy. After the wrapping paper had been tossed away and I rubbed sleep out of my eyes, I stumbled into my studio this morning and flinched as I saw the complete STY that I let accumulate in the "Finals and Holiday" frenzy that consumed my time for the last two weeks. Eek!!

Ahhh...much better. :)

It seemed an appropriate day to sip mint tea, return the apartment and studio to some semblance of order and do a mother of a Cleansing. My eyelids are heavy, my brain stuck on overdrive and my body in serious need of TLC. So, while outside of my window it misted, I sorted papers, washed out neglected brushes, straightened sheets, dusted off the pillar candles and burned sage leaves.

I politely invited (I'm midwestern, I can't help it...) all of the gunk, the residual semester stress, chaotic clutter and the flu that's been fluttering around here for the last few days to pack their things and get gettin'! For me, this cycle was a doozy, and now nothing makes me happier than to sit in positive darkness, get my proverbial "ducks" in a row and rejuvenate for a moment.

Exhale...

I'm very excited to get cracking on my plans for the New Year! Books to read, classes to write, rehearsals to plan, trips to travel, and of course--paintings to Paint! I am just loving reading about everyone's creative undertakings for the coming months! Keep them coming!

Speaking of New Year projects-- don't forget to get your name in the "jar" for the Goddess Give Away! You can enter until midnight tomorrow. Round up your blogosphere chums and tell them to stop on by for a chance to win the goodies! :) I can't wait! Tee hee!

I hope all of you not only survived, but truly enjoyed your holiday gatherings
and are finding time to rest and recoup and craft your marvelous new year's plans!

Sending you Much Peace and Many Blissings!
***Happy New Moon, everyone!***

Merry Christmas!

Such a cozy scene...I just want to curl up by the fireplace.

Art On The Dark Side: Artemis

Though I do SO love the lights of the season and the sweets (oh my goodness the sweets!), I needed a little deviant distraction from the mall madness and blizzard coverage. The marvelously macabre Miss June at Art on The Dark Side provided "Mutant" as this weeks prompt!

"Artemis" Molly Roberts 2007. Oil on canvas

"Artemis" was part three of a goddess triptych I completed a year ago. She was designed to represent the playful and strange attributes of maidenhood. I don't remember exactly how I came to give her fawn arms--I knew I wanted to include "deer" in the work somewhere as it is one of the goddess's most well known symbols. I had sketched her holding a fawn, or wearing necklace with a stag charm, but it must have been a late evening at the studio when I decided I would depict her sprouting hooves. I wanted her to be childish, curious. I did a brief jot on her while the work was in progress:
"Girl hood. Maidenhood. Fleshy flowers in bloom. Flat chest. Imaginative because they don't remember. Mischievous. Flitting about in a dandelion tutu blowing bubbles in the evening. Apple blossoms in early may. Am I too skinny? Too short? Too blond? Wanting to be a mermaid, sand pushed up on my skin. Hair was wild like a thousand shivering threads. Teeth like an old house full of ghosts. Firsts: first taste, first swim, first crushed firefly. Unsure, bashful, insignificant. Flying was not improbably, it was a necessity. Queen of the Thicket, benevolent ruler of all the crickets. A petticoat full of hares. "

Goddess Giveaway!

On a long winters night there is nothing quite like presents! So, on with the Goddess Give Away! It's a stash, a cache of goddess treasures assembled to start the new year by stirring your creative cauldron! This give away includes an original 7"x7" assemblage work, "Heart Beat"(lovingly made and ready to hang!), a bouquet of beautiful vintage metallic, handmade and scrap booking papers, a sheet of star stickers, a pile of petite sea shells, a scarlet brocade pocket mirror and a string of lovely red lamp beads.

To win these goddess goodies simply leave a comment by Saturday, December 27th (midnight!) stating how you will be tending to your creative juices in the new year! My Muffin will randomly draw a name to see who wins the loot! Tell your blogosphere buddies to scoot on over and drop their name in the "jar". :)

I hope you all had a superb solstice,
are surviving the storms and
are enjoying your holiday preparations and parties!

Merry Making and Many Blissings, Friends!~*

P.S. My big sister has jumped on the blogging bandwagon! She'll be documenting her musical adventures (as well as misadventures) and creative gravy in her new blog home. Leave her a housewarming comment at www.hobojabasa.blogspot.com. :)

Garden Nomenclature

This is the season for dreaming by the fire with seed catalogs. Are you baffled by some of the catalog Latin lingo? Here's a quick guide:

1. Genus is in Capitalized italics
   
2. Species is in lower case italics
3. Variety can include size, color, habit or more. The variety is often in 'single quotation marks', especially if it is named after a person or place.
   
4. The catalog then often adds the common name, commentary, and suggestions for companion plantings.

For an example, let's look at a humorous listing from a mock nursery catalog put out by Shady Deals Nursery:

Colocasia esculenta 'Pelosii' (Nancy's Revenge Elephant's Ear) $5,000. A real first of its kind! While we find this attractive, we've also found it to be quite aggressive and very detrimental to nearby bushes, so watch it closely. A superb choice for the West Coast.

ROLL WITH IT!

Advertorial

Ever felt like this before?

After a long day of wearing lens, or just being awake, your eyes feel so lifeless and tired?

Tadah!!

I just got sponsored Garnier's Light Brightening Eye Roll-On!!

It's a great invention and I'm surprised that it took humankind so long to develop something like this!

The Roll-on comes in a slim and cute little tube like this - and to soothe puffy or tired eyes, all you have to do is to roll it on!

It uses a state-of-the-art roll-on to massage away tiredness from your eyes, and massaging is a technique used by experts to boost natural draining and decongest tired eyes!

With a stroke of genius, Garnier also added CAFFEINE into the roll-on - that acts as a natural simulant to boost your circulation and give an extra perk to your eyes!

Cleverly, the roll-on comes with an extremely convenient little metal ball to aid your application.

The metal ball is cold and damn shiok! Now I won't fall asleep during MJ anymore!!

No more messing around with eye creams (God I hate those, I can never properly dig the cream out with long nails) or feeling ridiculous when you bring your eye cream out with you.

This one fits right into any handbag!

I think it's perfect for long plane rides. :)

Time to give it a test!



Putting it over my eye area!



Nice cooling effect as the liquid immediately gets absorbed by my skin.



Blend it in.



And you get happy eyes!!!

Garnier also came up with a cute application for phones!

Ever wished you had a Magic 8 ball to bring around with you in case of tough decisions? Well, here's one for your phone, FREE!!

You can download it here and it's super easy!

The game is really simple - your sunny yellow roll-on helps you decide whether you should ROLL WITH IT, or ROLL AWAY!

Rotating... Hurry up, my important life decisions are depending on you!

Well, since I was at home that night, I obviously had loads of things to decide on.


For example ---

I am peckish! Should I or should I not?

Let the game decide!!!!!!


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WHAT!

This means I can't eat my Jagabee!!



I don't care!!!





WOOHOO!

It's totally telling me to Roll with it!!!!!!

Having satisfied my stomach, I skip around trying to find other things to Roll with.

SPOTTED!!!






Cute guy sleeping!!!!!


Should I go kiss him???????



Let the game decide!!!!!!!!!!





Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........................


Must be a technical glitch.






Woohoo! This time it's right!!




Muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah!!!!!!!

FUN ISN'T IT?!

Remember to visit Rollwithit.com.sg to download this cute game on your mobile for free!



** I do not encourage using this method to decide on whether you oughta murder tonight, or do other illegal things. I'm quite sure the judge will not accept this as an excuse.


P/s: Yes I am aware I got loads of black roots showing. I'm about to go dye it already la, ok! Quit harping on it!