In defence of Bleached Blondes

Ever since I bleached my hair more or less platinum blonde, I've been getting all sorts of CRAP comments.

It's weird because for the longest time I've had my hair sorta really light brown but just not quite blonde yet, and nobody gave two hoots.

Oh, here's an obviously Chinese girl!

But once it crossed the threshold from caramel to 'blonde' blonde, people start all sorts of accusations.

I am trying to be an angmoh! I am abandoning my Chinese roots! Xiaxue you are an insecure, self-hating disgusting heritage ditcher!

This is pissing me off SO FUCKING BAD.

FUCK YOU ALL.

Firstly, GET OVER YOURSELF. It's just a muthafucking hair colour.

Do Chinese people typically have brown/red hair? NO THEY DON'T!

We have BLACK HAIR.

And then like a half of the Asian female population in Singapore have dyed BROWN hair - nobody says anything!

Having BROWN hair is as un-Asian as having Blonde hair isn't it?

Or so are you trying to say that there is a DEGREE to which you can abandon your "roots"?

DYEING BROWN NOT HIDING BLACK MEH?

And oh, I've had my hair black, varieties of brown, ash, green, red (long ago), pink, and BLONDE.

When I was all the other colours, you mean I wasn't trying to act angmoh and suddenly now I have a change in personality and decided to?

I'd tell you why so few people have bleached blonde hair.

- It destroys your hair.
- It doesn't look good on everyone. Not saying it does on me, but I like it.
- It is incredibly expensive to maintain. Mine is sponsored.
- It is a wild colour and schools and most office jobs won't allow it.

And that's why it is so special - and I love attention so I want to be special!

It's just a bloody hair colour and just because I like that colour doesn't mean I necessarily hate being Chinese!

In fact, as my URL so proudly proclaims, I love being Chinese, and I love being Singaporean. My parents are fully Chinese and I've never claimed otherwise.

As for the coloured lens, plenty of other chicks wear them too, purely because everyone else has black irises and it's BORING. Nose job? Anyone who saw my old nose won't deny that I needed one. Angmoh boyfriend? Had him for 3 years before I had blonde hair.

I hate the accusations that come with my decision to be a bleached blonde. So for the last time, I AM NOT TRYING TO BE ANYTHING. (Maybe except special.) I just LIKE THE COLOUR!

Just like I like pink. It doesn't have a deeper meaning than that.

Why the fuck should I be pressured to stay with my black hair when I know I look boring (and imho, ugly and greasy) in black hair?

Just to look Chinese? Well fuck you again. I'm trying to look like a Chinese Albino. You happy now? Not abandoning roots now am I?

Anyway, part of the reason for this tirade is due to a fucker called BRADLEY FARLESS.

One day, I was having dinner with Mike at a food court in Pasir Ris when Bradley was also eating there.

He then blogged this:

Firstly, he doesn't know who I am. I was basically an innocent stranger to him, albeit a stranger who intruded on his opinion about Asians keeping their hair colour.

Didn't anyone tell him that it's incredibly rude to snap someone's photo and blog shit about them?

He didn't even have the decency to mosaic my face.

And secondly, after posting up my photo, he started to ACCUSE ME.

He presumed that I was trying to look white. Excuse me but where is your proof of that? Do you know me that well?

Secondly he presumed that Mike loved me because I looked white. He doesn't know BALLS about our relationship. Look at him go!

His whole entry reeked of the presumption that white men come to Singapore for Asian girls or that White men like Asian girls. I'm sorry Bradley, not every white dude is as racist as you.

AND WHAT IS THIS PHILOSOPHICAL RUBBISH ABOUT ASIAN GIRLS LOOKING GOOD BECAUSE THEY ARE AND LOOK ASIAN??

What the fuck is that? Does that even make any sense? It's like saying Fat chicks look good because they are fat and look fat. WTF??

Fuck you.

Never mind this first entry of his. Afterward, someone told me who I was, and this made him spew a SECOND blog entry.

Mind you, I did nothing to him personally.

Started off by saying I look like shit. You know, LOADS OF PEOPLE LOOK LIKE SHIT. Stephen Hawking, for one, is not a looker either, although he is smart as hell. Why aren't you criticizing his looks?

Oh, I get it. It's because you don't like me.

That's right.

Well.

You ain't much of a looker YOURSELF:

At least I'm not bald at the age of 28.

Imagine someone looking like THAT calling you ugly. Angry not??

And where's his penis? Must be tiny.

Continuation of his blog entry:

This loser with probably less than 100 readers on his SHITASS BLOG per day is trying to teach me how to blog!!

Hilarious and buay paiseh much??

My English is crap. And I don't do balance or moderation, but guess what? I am still the top blogger in Singapore so you can suck on my balls!


"Photos should be used to augment content" - Advice from a loser. Funny! I should listen to him. He sounds like he has been blogging for ages with much success.

Oh and for some reason, he seems to have taken issue with my Chipster Advertorial, naively thinking I've got nothing better to do than to blog about potato chips.

My dear, I was paid THOUSANDS for that entry by a reputable MNC. If you think I've nothing better to do than to go blog something, think again. Retard.

You know, I find the second last sentence particularly enlightening.

Listen, Bradley found that I made him feel
better about himself as a person.

Normally I am not so cruel as to highlight a loser's inadequacies so harshly, but hey, you asked for it.

I did more research into this fucker's life and I found out a lot more about him.

He was originally from Alaska and was in the army till he finally quit it.

He is presumably mixed. Dad's white mom's dunno what:

His parents

His wife is Filipino and never graduated from college, and neither did he.

For some reason, both of them are not from Singapore yet decided to reside here.

In April, he posted this blog entry up.

This loser, there is no other word for it, has been jobless for almost a year.


He has been living in Singapore with his wife.

AND PRESUMABLY HAS HIS WIFE PROVIDING FOR HIM.

Unless he has some trust fund which I doubt so, but either way, what sort of man at 28 does not work?

He lives in a sad dingy rented room in Pasir Ris at $600 with a Singaporean host family.


And there he goes, typing shit about girls online just like you'd expect any other sad loser would. It's so stereotypical it's almost laughable. Hey dude, why not look for a job instead of writing advice to bloggers?


I was looking at his tweets. He typically sleeps around 5am and wakes up after noon. Does that sound like a guy who is TRYING HARD to look for a job?

IMHO, only lazy, useless, unambitious bums who leech off their kins can be jobless for so long. Can't find a job? Try MacDonalds! Or are you too good for that?

Well, maybe you are vastly over-estimating your self-worth. :)

At the age of 19 Bill Gates set up his own software company. Hell, even I at 19 was starting to get press and making my mark in the world.

At the age of 28 most men are already building their careers, building their families.

At 28 all he has is a bald pate, and ugly cat lady as a wife (more about that later), and NOTHING TO HIS NAME.

His only claim to fame is that a semi-famous blogger once blogged about him.

I don't want to go on about how ACCOMPLISHED I am in contrast to that useless lump because it's arrogance.

But does he have the rights to comment anything about me? No.

Calling me shallow and stupid? If you so deep and clever, where are you in life? PRECISELY.

Really embarrassing to have a chick you are insulting earn way more than you do. Me and Paris Hilton both.



Anyway, never mind these two blog entries he made about me.


After these are written, I was still clueless because obviously I don't read his blog.

Then, the fucker had the nerve to @TheXiaxue me on a tweet, saying that my twitter updates are BORING.

(For those of you who don't know, if you put an @ before a person's nickname, the person can see your tweet as a 'reply')


This led me to his blog. I then read the first two entries as posted.

I retaliated by tweeting that his wife is uglier than I am.

Of course, this fucker wanting hits for his site, wrote A THIRD blog entry about me, and here it is:

Typical.

When I said his wife is uglier than me, he pulled out my old Maxim photoshoot. Congrats, you found my ugliest photo in existance. So?



FIRST off, I have no qualms about what he called "dragging his wife into the picture".

As you all can see, the wife also left a barrage of comments about me prior to my tweet about her. She said I'm stupid and made remarks about my site. So is she innocent? She is not.

Secondly, if you want to say I am ugly out of NOWHERE, then I can also say your wife/mom is ugly if I want to.

Your remark about me being ugly is UNPROVOKED, so why can't I make UNPROVOKED remarks about your family?

Sounds FAIR, doesn't it?

ONE FOR ONE.


AND THIRDLY, here are his wife's tweets about me.

Oh, so this bitch wants to get into this too!!


Since she and her husband are so adamant that she is better-looking than me, here are a few of her choice photos for you to see:

What crap about it being the end of the day and his wife was tired... I'm sorry but it seems as if she looks typically even greasier and uglier!

Oh and that photo taken without my permission was also at the end of the day with me in ratty clothes and no make-up on. I DON'T SEE ME LETTING MYSELF GO LIKE THAT!

You think I chose her ugliest photos and tried to embarrass her? Don't take my word for it, feel free to check out her MYSPACE profile's photo albums before she shuts it down.

I didn't want to blog anything about this fucker despite him writing 3 blog entries about me. Since he is such a sad little loser I thought I'd let him off.

But then, up till yesterday, the fucker was still steadily tweeting a stream of nasty shit about me.

I presume he either really hates me or just badly wants me to blog about him. If it's the latter here's your wish granted!!

And here's the "WHORE" photo in question:



Do I look like a whore?


Pic credit Jessica

I was wearing a cute lilac M)phosis romper for Christ's sake. Whores do not wear rompers coz they are so difficult to fuck in, ya know?

Fucking losers. Hey Margee, do your colleagues at NTUC Income (if there is where you work according to the lanyard) know you have a loser of a husband?

Fucktards. Get the fuck out of Singapore.

UPDATE:

The cat lady twittered 2 new tweets about me:

xiaxue top blogger? keep telling yourself that fake blond.

Funny leh! This sorta thing need to argue one meh?

Tempting to post the $10,000 cheque photo again. Tempting. Won't. Am a girl with self-restrain. Shall be more humble.

And the second tweet whining and whimpering about how she is 8 months short of finishing med school or something.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Never finish also can talk about it one ah? Like that I am 8 years short of finishing a PHD! How? Clever not???

I thought only the husband is a loser but she's slowly going on par!

Which is more loserish, never starting something, or starting something halfway and giving up/failing??

Always finish what you start honey!

*plants big L on forehead*

Almost a doctor, huh? If so, why are you still living in a dingy little flat doing customer service? Go and be a goddamn doctor if you can make it! Betcha can't! And till then, stop claiming to be a doctor and stfu!

And I'm not 'crying', silly. Why should I? I'm rich. MUAHAHAHA! Not rich rich, but richer than YOU, a half-fucked doctor!!

Oh and OF COURSE... I was right about the dude having a small penis and no balls. He deleted all blog entries related to me.

He was the one daring me to blog about him and now this!

If it's possible, I lost even more respect for him! Stand by your fucking opinions, fuckface! You can't afford to add SPINELESS to your long list of bad traits!!

Second UPDATE:

He deleted whole blog. Nice!

I'm totally happy today.


p/s: I am not afraid of giving hits to him because shitty bloggers will never be able to maintain it. :)

CAPRICIOUS

I found these fancy journals in the shop of an artist from Bucharest, Baghy.etsy.com. I feel a strong Art Nouveau influence in her gracious designs, and Art Nouveau is my absolutely favorite style. Each journal, made with traditional techniques and bound in luxurious leather with painted and polymer clay accents, is a true work of art.

Gallery Night + New Goddess

Hello Puddings!*

Oh- so- much has been happening here at apartment #5! Here's the whirlwind tour: I've been bzzzz-buzzing around town here and there in preperation for the "Glamorous Gallery Night" event I was asked to style. It's been quite the coaster ride between venue changes, committee shifts and indecisive entertainers-- but with only 20 days to go things are looking very glamorous indeed! My partner and I have been up to our eyebrows in iridescent tulle, collapsable chandeliers, miles and miles of To Do lists and frantic inbox exchanges in an effort to throw Milwaukee one hell of a party! Here's the promo clip for the event!


The Famous Graves have also been kicked into high gear, rehearsing Billie Holliday tunes in my sweltering apartment. Things are coming together! Exciting, exciting indeed...
I've been smudging and smooshing charcoal about the studio while working on a life size self portrait-ish. I've always wanted to to a Nyx piece, I think that's the direction this work is headed. Lots of work to go yet, but fun to get grimy again...I also have plans...BIG plans for this canvas! Can't wait to show you as it progresses.


*In other News...
In the very near future, HerSpeak will be the home of Creative Gravy Meditations! Hooray! I've been tinkering with a few guided video meditations designed to get your creative juices flowing--because as you know, at HerSpeak, we're all about the juice. :)

Speaking of which, what are you doing

for your juices these days? Do tell!

Until Next Time--

Much Joy and Merry Making!

BREATHTAKING

I was very surprised when I realized this morning, that I have not written about the works of Cyndie Styles, although I admired her beautiful millefiori beads even since I saw them for the first time a few month ago. Find them in her Etsy shop, breathtakingbeadzz.etsy.com.

Syndie also has a web site and a blog; both are worth visiting.

CYCLICAL

That's Life Oil on linen 55 x 80 cm 2006




Everything Is Cyclical Gouache on paper 30 x 42 cm unframed 2009



Recently something spun into my head about the actual form of perspective as a metaphor for how we view ourselves and others. A predominantly western view would be that it has a linear appearance and action. Yet, the world is not linear even if our thoughts have been trained that way.


I am toying with my thoughts on a spherical but not necessarily static type of image of the action and appearance of perspective. When we think of horizons we tend to think of them in our line of sight, yet thay exist all around us even when we cannot see them...except of course with our mind's eye or imagnation. And, it is with these capacities that we can also 'see' beyond the horizons. As readers of my BLOG know I love playing with perspective in my work, asking the viewer to question space and distance, both as literal experiences as well as metaphorical ones.


I have written about the contemporary stage as being one which exists between the 'wings' of the global and local, yet this suggests a more linear experience which does not fully encapsulate how I imagine perspective in this globalised world in which we live locally. But, I had a 'Ah Ha' moment when I imagined a theatre in the round with the 'wings' existing at any and all points. These 'wings' can move in and out at will or at random [or seemingly so]. This stage at its most micro level would exit within us as we contemplate and reflect upon experiences whether they be in the physical world or other. As we develop skills in perspective I believe our horizons are pushed further, whether they be at vast distances or close ones. And, as these horizons move we become less fearful of what might be beyond the horizons.


In my last BLOG I quoted JK Rowling from her 2008 Harvard Alumni Association presentation entitled The Fringe Benefits of Failure And The Importance of Imagination http://harvardmagazine.com/commencement/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination . The quote is, ' The willingly unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.’

I really like this quote. Without imagination or tapping into our mind's eye our horizons contract and can swallow us with fear.

The two paintings above are about circles, cycles and spheres. In 'That's Life' the tree-of-life splays out with positive and negative circle shapes above and below it. These circles could be seen as perspective turned inside out. They could also represent the 'contemporary stage' in its most fulsome presence ie: multi dimensional. "Everything Is Cyclical' is a newer work essentially dealing with water, yet a drop of water has a form like I imagine our contemporary stage to be. It moves, it can collide with other drops or separate itself, it can penetrate, it can soften and enmass it is awesome.

nocturne

this watercolor.. on unknown paper.. has been slightly a challenge for me. there were many times i felt like giving up.. and actually did.......
but... another day.. and another try and bringing it to conclusion.

at the end.. i used a scrub sponge.. and wiped out many areas to lighten the darks and add more shimmer and sparkle.

i can't say that it's finished.. but i can say.. that it's posted here.. and tomorrow.. perhaps.. will bring on another day's efforts.



Nocturne
watercolor
30" h x 22"w
2009
unfinished

Bali!!

Piccies taken from my Bali holiday! The trip is sponsored by Holiday Inn Resort Baruna Bali (not advertorial, just sponsorship), so thanks to M and A for this!! (And you also Ju Ju Seah!!)

Kaya toast and eggs before flying



At the airport. I was the only person in shorts besides Mike.
Seriously? Is it THAT cold??



We arrive at the gorgeous Holiday Inn.



Sea view



Served tea and cold towels



On our way to a nearby mall in Kuta.





I'm a MILLIONAIRE!!! Call me heiress!!

We were shocked when we saw that the sea was just RIGHT BEHIND THE MALL. (Called Discovery Mall or something)

The view from our suite!!!

And our hugeass balcony.

So thoughtful of them to put the clothes drying rack there for our wet bikinis!

Camwhoring













Few shots of the room



And a happy Mike



And me!

My outfit for the opening party of Envy, the beach bar at Holiday Inn.

I showed Mike this photo on my camera and I said "Thanks for taking this pic for me baby!"

He said "Oh, you are welcome".

I actually took the shot via self-timer. -_- Where got people like that anyhow claim credit one??

Gorgeous sunset... Hotel guests get to see this everyday



Ice sculpture





With flash and without... The beach lit up by many lanterns





Us seated







Mike and I with A and M... Sorry they requested anonymity so no faces!



Fashion show!

Fondue fountains of white and dark chocolate... Mike looks like he has all intentions to stab the fountain to death.

We had a fabulous dinner just lazing and eating off
beach chairs, staring out into the ocean...



Fireworks burning out the word ENVY

Day 2!

We take a longass car ride all the way to Ubud, where the famous Babi Guling store is!

Babi Guling supposedly, if I didn't remember wrongly, means roasted pork.

The place is packed with locals and tourists alike.



Awaiting food





FINALLY IT ARRIVES!!

The set comes with roasted suckling pig, juicy pieces of pork (really madly nice), rice, veggies with coconut, and...

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This disgusting sausage which looks madly disgusting. Nobody with us ate it, though Mike bravely took a nibble... He said taste like pig's blood.

And guess who came to look for us!!

Kenny, Ringo and their friends!



Picture!























Camwhoring outside the restaurant next to a temple.

Next we go to the Hanging Gardens...

It's this famous hotel up a mountain or some sorta hill... The ride up there was FUCKING SCARY!!

Bali's roads are not very developed and the roads are all narrow 2 way lanes... Potholes are aplenty and it even sometimes become one-laned because of vehicles parked on the roads!!

And if you tilt towards the edge, you literally fall off a goddamn cliff confirmed cannot find your body kind!!

Luckily we survived!

A Balinese staff brings us on a lift-ride



That's our 'lift'. It brings us down to the lounge area.



That's the tracks... Freaky right?

That's the lounge. We were told that the view is very nice, but when we rushed to see, we realised it was beyond nice... It was simply breath-taking!

There were 2 infinity pools... The REAL sort.

Literally if you fell off the edge of either pool you'd plunge to your untimely death.

We were so high up that all I could see below were forest, nothing else.

Mike looking awed





Everything was just so serene.



We couldn't resist sitting by the pool and bringing our drinks with us...

Sidenote: Dress only $9 with heart-shaped neckline and heart-shaped buttons! Awesome find!

Happy



Awesome for tanning but too bad I didn't bring my bikini and it wasn't sunshiny that day.



Airforce ad

Me giving an act cute face









Artistic boh!





That's a real cocoa fruit. I've never seen one before!



And that's it we go up the precarious lift again.

After this we go back to the hotel and explore the beach behind it...





Gorgeous!

We frolicked for a bit and went for a massage.







The super nice massage room.

Just what we wanted after a flight!

And, props to Holiday Inn's massage staff man!!

THE MASSAGE WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Like seriously the best I've EVER had!! They focused a lot on head massaging and even facial massaging, which imho is the best sort!!

After this we go to Jimbaran Bay for great seafood:

Located right next to the ocean... You can smell what you are gonna eat while they are alive, literally.

Avocado milkshake. Madly nice.

Corn from a vendor. They roast it and put some sort of burnt brown sugar (or maybe it's honey) with salt and loads of butter on it. It's so good omg.

Food!

Fish



A plate of Kang Kong for everyone, comes automatically with the meal.



Hugeass JUMBO PRAWNS



LOVE!



Check out Mike's corn... Eaten so messily!

It pisses me off!! I eat corn very neatly 3 rows by 3 rows. If 4 rows are left I get annoyed coz I don't know if I should eat 2 and 2, or 3 and 1, or 4 at one go.

OCD much? LOL

It was a lovely dinner! Thanks for the treat M and A. You guys are great!!


Day 3, Mike and I go on a boat trip to a little island off Bali!













Beautiful clear waters



First we into a submarine where we were invited to see underwater marine life...

This is the best photo I can take outta the windows but I must say I gasped!

The waters were so clear you can see to the bottom of the ocean floor and the fishies swam around the boat so closely we could see their gills!

I didn't know what I was expecting... Cloudy water I guess? Hahaha...

Turtle on the island being forced into cam-whoring with tourists.



Here's one tourist abusing it



Forced to take photos never mind, still expose people's genitals. Poor turtle...

COCK FIGHT!!









Squawk!





Weeeeeeee!





Our lunch... Person behind Mike looks so menacing.

Mike trying a Snake Fruit.

It's horrid. He said taste like "apple" but drier.

We were on a Pantoon and snorkelled too!!

Obviously no photos since my camera can't go underwater. Snorkeling was fun for about 15 minutes.

It was really quite something being able to be so close to the fishes and see all the corals, but after that I realised, together with the rest of the girls, I was drifting further and further away from the ship due to the current!

I panicked and freaked out coz I realised I didn't have enough strength to go back to the boat!!!

I grabbed Mike and told him to swim me back. LOL!! Loserish!

Anyway, after a while I started to get nauseous and the snorkel was pushing up against my columella (area between nostrils) in a really uncomfortable way due to my implant... Advice to Plasticzilla not to snorkel.

Mike was really enjoying himself though so I let him be and waited beside the boat for him.

After this we went tanning! The sun was glorious!!!

We were in a tour group with Taiwanese people so the tanning chairs were all EMPTY. I guess the Taiwanese all wanna be fair?

Back to the hotel and then to dinner:

R. McDonalds in Bali rides a surfboard.





Sunburnt Mike.

We couldn't find the place we wanted to go to (sells Prawns and Chips as recommended by a blog reader) so we just settled for any restaurant in Kuta...

I ordered something which compensated for my expectations of getting Prawns and Chips that night but this meal kinda sucked.

I know it LOOKS nice but the cream sauce was not at all creamy and was just salty! Weird.

Mike's seafood curry. Also not nice.

I was 100% positive for some reason that we had one more day to stay in Bali.

I told the hotel's GM Stephan (If I didn't remember his name wrongly) this, and he gave me a raised eyebrow but said nothing to the contrary.

Next morning at 11am he called and asked me if my flight is at 1pm later and asked me to double check.

THANK HEAVENS HE CALLED CAN?? I totally misread the date!!! Stephan's a savior man! On top of that he recommended us loads of nice places to go to (the places he recommended did not disappoint) and he is so nice and friendly too. =)

So in half an hour Mike and I packed up and left!!

I was so upset coz I thought I could go shopping the next day!! Boo!!

I kept apologizing to Mike over and over again but he wasn't angry. I came to the conclusion that he forgives my mistakes much more easily than I forgive his so I shall vow to be more accommodating in future. Ahem.

Paiseh!!!



And we arrive back in Singapore!

On a postnote, I must say that I am very impressed by Holiday Inn's staff! They are all so polite and sincerely nice. Like you can tell when someone's nice coz they are HAPPY, not coz they are paid to be. Ya know??!!

Anyway, I left my blackberry on a sofa coz I dropped my earring and was trying to find it back in haste. Another guest found it later (phone not earring) and returned it to the hotel staff, who passed it back to me.


THANK GOD! I was so flustered when I thought it was gone forever!! Honest people are awesome!

**************************************************

Pumpkin's photos!!!


Naughty girl keeps biting my toes...















Classic head tilt

Anyway, she has this ring toy which I bought from Ikea. It's for babies. She likes to put her head and front paws through the ring, so that she's wearing the ring like a skirt or something.

It's sooooooo funny! We kept having to "rescue" her.

Looks so stupid

Here's one of Nano burying herself in bedding...

Many of you have asked where Picolove is. Pico is staying with my mom because Pico kept attacking Nano and bit Nano till Nano bled! So I had to separate them and now Pico is my brother's pet.


And I know you all think Pumpkin is really cute...


But here's how she looks like when she's freshly out of the bath...

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With a face only a mother can love.