Invasive plants on the lam

Butterfly bush (Buddleia davidii) is a Class B Noxious Weed in the State of Washington.

Notify the authorities if it approaches your garden.

Photo: Bildtankstelle.de

I read up on invasive plants last week and enjoyed the lively descriptions of their behavior. My favorite--"escaping from cultivation."

Don't you love the prison-break movie sound of that? Some invasives even have prison-style nicknames: Albizia julibrissin goes by "Silk Tree", Pueraria labata "Kudzu", and Perilla frutescens is leader of the chain gang as "Beefsteak".

These invasives deserve their own film about breaking out of a perennial border. Here's a preview of some plant-action-movie sequences:

Plants gathering at night under outdoor lighting to draw diagrams of the garden (with plant marker pencils filched from the potting bench).

Buddleias filing down metal tools when the gardener isn't looking. (That's what happened to your missing trowels).

Invasives coordinating their wristwatches.

Digging tunnels.

And then running wildly across the open land outside the garden fence.

The most exciting horticultural film since Avatar, coming to you in 2011 from Fox Searchlight. Title TBA but may be Cool Hand Loosestrife. Your suggestions?

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