Assorted

You know, I'm really very unlucky when it comes to damn computers!!!

Just went the deadline for the Langkawi post came up, my newly installed hard disk (think haven't even 2 months old lor! Chao turtle) decided it's time to die on me.

I don't even know what happened... it just would hang in the middle of stuff (particularly annoying during photoshop) and refuse to restart, stating defiantly: "READ DISK ERROR".

Anyway I went to Sim Lim and they gave me a one-for-one exchange! Awesome.

So yeah, with this and that, sorry for the delay in blogging!!

To compensate for this, I shall blog a few entries today...

(including the Langkawi one which shall be published once it is approved... Don't say I never tell you... GOT KAYKAY'S BIKINI PHOTOS!! Muahahah!! Very jian right, use my friend's body to buy blog viewership! Don't tell her k, she thinks that I'm just taking her pictures coz I like her. JOKING. UNCLE YAN I AM JOKING.)

AND I SHALL BLOG TILL I GET HAND CRAMP AND CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!! AND NOSE BLEED, EYE POP OUT ETC!!

You all slowly slowly read k, and pretend as if I blogged for a few days straight just like the good old days when I used to. (It's a bit sad if you know your heydays are over... Don't worry I will salted fish flip over!)

So yeah... Shitload of photos, including the long-awaited Princess Room. Come to think about it I shall make it a separated entry so it seems like I am very hardworking.

Randomness from eons ago:

Estee and I eating at a Italian restaurant with Ming and Mike


Pretty. I'm not telling you the place coz I don't want it to be popular. :D


Mike sunburnt + drunk after going out with his colleague. -_- (Oh yes the V Day drama. Later)


Last season's oxfords and leggings... which is raging in slow Singapore.

SPEAKING OF TRENDS...

I FUCKING HATE TENT DRESSES LA!

This must be the worst season in fashion (in Singapore) EVER! I'd take the bell-bottoms and Hawaiian shirts back; even platform shoes... ANYTHING BUT TENT DRESSES!

I am not arrowing these suppliers since they are just selling whatever is trendy, but I AM SICK OF SEEING CLOTHES LIKE THIS AND THIS.

WTF IS THIS?

For those of you who can't be bothered to click, tent dresses, or trapeze dresses, are dresses that are LOOSE... GET THIS... FROM THE ARMPIT DOWN.

YES.

YOU LITERALLY CAN'T SEE THE PERSON'S WAIST OR BOOBS.

Every piece of a tent dress is a L, because they are all LOOSE.

What's the point of being a socially acceptable weight if women everywhere are all wearing these loose pieces of rubbish?!

I MIGHT AS WELL BE FAT RIGHT?

During CNY, I had a customary walk around Far East to see that every single shop were selling these abdominations - and to make matters even worse, the dresses are made of cheap stretchy cotton with various fugly repeated prints on them, such as triangles and circles and what's not.

The other popular material for Singaporean tent dresses (imported from China, I'm presuming) is CHEAP SATIN.

These horrible dresses are draped over the long-suffering mannequins, CRUMPLED AND OVERSIZED AND WITH LOOSE THREADS ALL HANGING OUT.

These manufacturers just take a piece of satin, cut head and arm holes into it, sew on a few mismatched jewels and call it a day.

HOW??! HOW CAN WE BUY SUCH AWFUL, CHEAP LOOKING CLOTHES?!!

AS IF IT IS NOT ENOUGH, SKINNY JEANS TOO - to be paired with these... these... things!!!

I've never seen pants that make girls look like we have such heavy asses and such short legs. *shudders in horror*

Ok enough of this. I'm ranting like the cab driver I got today!

Digress!!!

The cabbie kept going on for half an hour first about how this girl was very rude to him... The first 10 mins was interesting and gossipy so I listened with occasional grunts. Later he started speaking Hokkien and broken English periodically, despite me telling him explicitly that I cannot understand Hokkien.

AND THEN, he started joking about how that girl who was rude and looked down on him and how he thinks she is a prostitute coz she was with two angmohs?!

And he was all defensive, like, "Wah, think cab drivers all not educated one meh? I am educated what... blah blah."

All in all it was very tiring listening to someone with a chip on the shoulder.

Then I was completely quiet already, yet he still kept on yakking to himself about the STI INDEX?!?!?! And started hao lianing about how he knows how much which stock was 2 mins ago. American recession, and don't know what he reads CNBC.com?!?!

First of all, I'm a girl in skimpy clothes and blonde hair - can't you tell I am NOT INTERESTED? Secondly, why is this uncle trying to prove himself to me?! I won't see him ever again lor!!

To make things doubly worse, he has the worst case of halitosis I've never had the misfortune to encounter. From the back seat I can smell his foul breath as he speaks lor!!

I was looking out of the window with a bored face and breathing through a thick bunch of my hair under my nose, and yet he kept checking me out through his mirror (willing me to react to his soliloquy) and still didn't get the hint!!

End digress.

(BTW babydoll dresses are tight at boobs so they are not what I am talking about)

We went to this Golden Mile Tower or something to film an ep of Xiaxue's Guide to Life, and we saw many maid... no, Vietnamese Bride agencies!!

I had no idea what Singapore still got such things lor!!!

And these girls are all advertised outside the agencies, machiam like maids leh!!

THEN GOT THOSE UNCLES GOING IN!!!! Ewwwwwww!!

We stood outside and laughed at the damn hiao photos the maids, I mean, brides submitted.

Whatever happened to true love?

I guess "Love at first sight" can never happen to ugly people.

My bf is sibeh cute.

Mike and I went to eat at an Italian Bistro and to my horror, the chef sprinkled CHINESE PARSLEY (not the angmoh dry type) into my mushroom cream pasta!

I had to change it and Mike started eating his own pasta and I got pissed off with him for finishing his food so bloody fast when mine is still being recooked that by the time my pasta finally arrived (took like super long), I was super pissed off and had no mood to eat anymore.

So I brought it home and reheated it.

I think the chef hates me. Look at the oil! But true what, where got people Italian pasta go and put Cilantro one?! FUSION AH? So many people hate chinese parsley still go and put... idiot.

(I realised all my life I've been maligning PARSLEY. The plant I actually hate is Coriander/Cilantro/Chinese parsley. Angmoh parsley has no taste to me.)


Took really long to announce this, but I've stop being sponsored by Kimage since last month!!

My new sponsor is Mosche.

They have an outlet at Hyatt (renovating) and at the new Pan Pacific Orchard (old Negara hotel).

Here I am with Rose, the owner of the salon.

I first met up with the Rose's daughter and she is a lawyer (pretty one at that) and so is her brother (lawyer, not that he is pretty. Or maybe he is, I have no idea, never saw him before)!

I thought that Rose must be a uppity type of tai-tai and opened a salon for fun... probably visits her salon once a week sort, but I am wrong!!

Not only is she super down-to-earth and very nice and rather soft spoken, she is also very good at hairstyling can?!

Why whole family can be like so smart and successful and rich and NICE ah?!

Other people's families got kena raped by second uncle, owe loanshark money etc... yet there are still these model types of families around. I also want!! I want Mike to be very rich and then we have these Eurasian babies... very good-looking and polite one... MACHIAM CONDO ADVERTISEMENT! HAHAHA! HOW WILL MY KIDS BE POLITE WHEN I AM SO RUDE?! Never mind, maybe I'd change to become a polite person once I give birth. Look at me, I'm going off on a tangent again!

My awful black roots


Complimentary drinks


Ewww black roots


There is a girl there doing mani and pedi too!! So convenient.


White toenails


Sally and Rose blowing my hair for me

I had doubts that any other salon can match Kimage's colour for me, but I was proven wrong!

Impeccable skills, and the atmosphere there is warm and friendly. Awesome!!

Thank you Mosche for sponsoring me!! (If you want that hair colour can call Mosche for an appointment. BTW they are not paying for this nor endorsing anything that I write. They are merely sponsoring my hair colour for me. This means that they do not necessarily agree, or disagree, with anything that I write on my blog.)

After this, a... ahem... mysterious friend and I went to get tattoos done.

One last look at a bare back.

I am going to get a crown tattoo!


Yup, around that size and somewhere there...


Get ready on Jeremy's (my tattooist) chair.


AND DONE!


Painfully detailed.

I super love heart it lor!!! Majorly chio!! It is a little in the middle of nowhere but it looks very nice when I wear halter and stuff. :D And it's so regal!!

My mysterious friend's snake cover-up tatt.

Sigh. She (Mysterious Friend, MF for short) covered up her star tattoo because this chick called Calista went to tell her that MF's good friend (Let's call this other girl, say, Irene) was saying bad stuff about MF.

MF had the same tattoo as Irene, and decided to cover it up, believing Calista (which is the slutwhore's real name).

Turns out Calista's just bloody insecure and bonkers and likes to tell ridiculous tall tales to buy pathetic friendship.

DIGRESS!! (This is turning out to be such a long blog entry)

I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THIS CALISTA CREATURE LOR! She is damn fucking crazy. I've never met such a mad person in a long time.

She is constantly turning every single conversation to talk about herself and when she talks about herself, she either 1) self praises but in a "I am so rich/beautiful/talented/smart yet so humble" way or 2) tell us how pitiful yet benevolent she is, hoping that people will all say she is too nice.

Here's some of the ludicrous things she said (other than those already stated above):

1) Mom play $200/$400 MJ. Found out it was actually $2/$4 from the mom.

2a) Cat scratched Grandma and she was paralysed and bedridden, sent into hospital cannot go home for 3 weeks. Found out from the mom that Grandma merely went to a clinic for the scratch or something.

2b) Grandma forced cat to be put down and Calista was so upset she cried every night and couldn't sleep for 3 whole years.

3) Claims to be a huge Juicy fan.

From her facebook.

When I asked her whether her ridiculously fake-looking wallet is real, she said yes, and even lectured me on how to "tell a real Juicy from a fake Juicy".

HELLO? I AM JUICY COUTURE'S BIGGEST FAN OK DON'T TRY TO TRICK ME!

All these are fake.

4) When her eyelash extensions made some of her lashes fall off coz she went to pluck them out, she claimed she went to see an EYE SPECIALIST.

The doctor apparently solemnly told her that eyelash extensions are VERY VERY BAD, and that A LOT OF PATIENTS CAME TO SEE THE DOCTOR COZ OF THE EXTENSIONS AND SOME EVEN GO BLIND.

5) Went to Zouk and fell asleep on the seat. Someone stole her Chanel shoes WHILE SHE SLEPT ON, and this daring shoe-stealer tried to walk out of Zouk wearing her Chanel shoes while holding on to her own shoes!! When security caught the thief and presented her, embarrassed, to Calista, Calista, being a magnanimous and kindly soul afterall, decided to let the girl go.

When, naively, I believed her and screeched, "But did you get your shoes back?!", Calista gave a puppy-eyed look and said "If she wants it so much, let her have it lor... Anyway she wear already I also don't want liao..."

... AS IF this really happened.

6) She owns 20 condos along Orchard Road.

7) She got a singing contract signed in New York for her to be a big-time star there.


I bet she also is a world-famous physicist and, at the same time, an escaped Princess from the great world of Lapuffville.


Confirm mad lor. I think she living in her own imaginary world. Tell these kinda tall tales never mind, still go and try to ruin people's friendship!!!

Thank god now everything is ok and nobody is friends with Calista anymore.

I see her confirm slap her lor. If Mike is around la. If he is not I faster run coz she is much bigger-sized than me. Wait she unleash her twenty fake Juicys onto me!!

AHEM BACK ON TOPIC:

Our chio tattoos!


QQ's new schnauzer puppy!!





It's the size of my palm!! SO CUTE!!


Yummy Pre-CNY food at Crystal Jade Palace (so random)


My best win for MJ this CNY.

It might not be very nice la, but I am number 2 and I started off with only 2 tai when keep drawing those flowers plus animals (bite twice) and then damn fast I ZI MO lor!! Shiok.

(I know I should have done half colour but the cards already set what!! And already limit!!)

My pregnant and not-pregnant cousins, plus my brother playing my DS.

I KNOW!! MY CNY PHOTOS ARE BLOODY LATE~! MUAHAHAHA




Smelly and I

My cousin's baby daughter. She is super cute lor when you tilt your head she will tilt hers too!



AND NOW FOR THE CONCLUSION OF THE VALENTINE'S DAY DRAMA.

YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS:

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AND NO, I DID NOT HIT MIKE ON THE HEAD WITH A SAUCEPAN.

Although I really did want to, I tell you.


Closer look

This is what happened: (I am sick of retelling this story coz I already told a lot of people)

Valentine's Day night, Mike fell asleep at 830pm after coming home drunk, right?

I read a lot of emails from girls, and was determined to heed their advice and ignore Mike for the next 3 days at least.

Talking to Shuyin and Wanyi online, the girls told me that this situation (Mike coming home drunk after going drinking with colleagues) seems to keep happening, and said that I was being too easy on Mike.

All he has to do is to cheer me up the next day... simple enough. Then he can go out and drink and go missing again sometime next month or so!

The girls said that I shouldn't let Mike sleep on ("why should you let him sleep?") and jokingly told me to drop pots and pans and make a deafening din in general.

I decided not to be a walkover anymore and played music damn loud, but Mike slept on.

At 6am, I still have not slept yet. I came into the room from the kitchen and slammed the door really, really hard.

Mike woke up.

He drunkenly stumbled to my computer table (where I was) and attempted to ask me if I am angry with him.

I completely ignored him.

With this, he walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

After 5 mins came a loud "ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!" from the kitchen.

I thought Mike maybe saw a lizard or a ghost or like scalded himself or something... Whatever it is I was still feeling bloody resentful towards him so I just ignored him.

After 10 seconds came another Arghhhh!! followed closely by another Arggghhhhhhh!!!!**

[** Presumably the first argh came when he knocked himself, and then he fainted for a bit... second one was when he woke up in pain and third was when he touched the wound and saw the blood]

I still ignored him.


Then, Mike came blustering into the bedroom, his eyes unfocused and his step completely unstable.

Then he turned and I saw that his whole face was completely covered in blood.

I SWEAR, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HYPERVENTILATED FOR REAL.


I cried, "Oh my god!! What happened?! Oh my god what have you done?? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" and Mike, still not looking at me (as if he cannot see where I am) walked unseeingly into the toilet.

You know how in story books people are always saying stuff like "Ron turned pale"?? I always thought it's just an exaggeration but Caucasians DO TURN PALE. Mike's face is white and his lips was the same colour lor!!

He stumbled into the bathroom and into the shower... I kept shouting at him but he can't seem to hear me. After a while he told me he wanted to shower and wash away the blood?!?!?

CRAZY LOR!

Then I told him to get out of the shower and he did.

Then, facing me, he fainted onto the toilet floor.

I had NO STRENGTH AT ALL TO CARRY HIM UP, and I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED he is going to DIE RIGHT THERE, or knock himself on the toilet bowl or something...

All I could do was to cry and cry and keep slapping him, asking him to wake up.

He did after 2 seconds, and went to sit down on my sofa.

I stood there, looked at his dazed, bloody face, and I swear I never EVER felt so much emotions at one time before.

I felt resentful that he left me alone for V Day.

I felt vengeful because a part of me knew he deserves this.

I felt immense guilt for feeling spiteful towards someone I love.

I felt helpless.

I felt shitass scared that he might be somewhat permanently damaged.

I felt worried.

I felt surreal.

And I was out of my mind with anxiety!

AND AND! A part of me still didn't want to talk to him as I promised myself!!

I can almost write a poem lor I tell you!!!

And with all these feelings inside me and on top of it, fear, I started to stand in front of him and just CRY AND CRY.

I did nothing else for like 3 mins.

CRY CRY BREATHE HARD CRY CRY BREATHE.

All the while Mike just sat there, his head and eyes lolling, mumbling incoherently.

Once I managed to gather up a bit of sense the first person I called was Shuyin.

She's a bloody awesome best friend lor I tell you. I write this I also wanna cry... She'll ALWAYS be there when you need her, be it 5am or what, and she is damn calm and smart and will always know what to do la!!

So yeah... Amazingly enough she could hear me through the mad sobbing. She told me to stay calm, if it is still bleeding, be sure to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding first. And she suggested I call my mom or an ambulance.

So I called my mom.

And Momo is the awesomest mom!! She came all the way from Bukit Batok to bring Mike to Changi Hospital, where we brought him into the A and E.

But before this, when she heard me crying into the phone (in chinese):

Me: "sob sob... Mike is bleedinnnnnngg.... I am so scared I don't know what to do... sob... a lot of blood... he fall down..."

Mom: "What?? What happened?? I cannot hear you."

Me: "He.... a lot of blood..."

Mom: "WHAT? HE BEAT YOU UP??"

Me: "No.... He fall down!!!!"

Mom: "Ok I come over."

In between the time when she came over I cooked Mike some food to eat. As it turned out, he fainted coz of the hangover, and also because, the day before, he only ate lunch and drink a shitload of alcohol for dinner!!! And then he zonked out!

Mike kept asking for hugs and stuff, and he was still so worried that I was pissed off with him. But I still was very cold and aloof coz I was still quite angry with him so I mostly ignored him.

He told me, while on the bed wrapped up in blankets (said it's very cold even with his jacket on), that if I don't love him anymore he can just die right now.

And he just looked so woebegone and tragic with his bloody face and saddened eyes that I just couldn't stay mad anymore... Sigh.

When my mom finally arrived, she honestly thought I hit Mike (my own mother leh!!!) and kept shooting me doubtful questions about what happened. -_-

DO I LOOK LIKE THE SORT WHO WILL GO INTO VIOLENT FITS??!

Ok la, I guess I do, but I rarely ever really lose my temper lor!! I get angry very often but I'm still in control.... well mostly.

ANYWAY I DIDN'T HIT HIM LOR! HE FELL DOWN HIMSELF! I never even push him!!

At Changi Hospital, the doctor told us dismissively that it is just a superficial cut and it doesn't even need stitches!!

SUPERFICIAL?!? The cut like FLAPS lor... There is a flap of flesh la! Like the eyebrow got cut off halfway like that!!

But apparently, facial wounds always bleed a lot, so it is not considered deep.

Doctor put a plaster on the wound after cleaning him up - then we go home and sleep. It was 12 noon and I haven't slept lor!!

Next day, Mike made it up to me by bringing me out on a super nice V day dinner and was angelic the whole day.

Quite shiok when he is so apologetic leh.

Us at Chijmes... inside some fine-dining restaurant:

His eye very puffy. Orh bi good.



Me





Foie gras. Yums!!



Complimentary raspberry sorbet



Mike eating


Me again!


Mike's lobster pasta


My scallops!!


Receipt

After this we join Ming, Estee, Sheena and James to watch my first Gold Class movie!!

I know my nail polish doesn't match my dress but I didn't have time to take it off...









Us posing in the lounge



Our chosen movie


Ming and Estee



First class is super shiok la!!

Well, so that's all for this entry!! I'll go write the Princess Room one now.

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NEW EPS ON CLICKNETWORK.TV!!!


XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Photoshop

Always wondered how come I look so fantastic on my blog? Everyone knows it's photoshop, but how good am I?

Go watch and learn, noobs.

(I can't believe I am revealing my secret weapon. But still, very few people can master it. So there!)

Housework

I attempt to teach householdy tricks. WHAT? CANNOT MEH?

CHICK VS DICK



Sales Challenge

Kaykay and Paul attempt to sell useless ping pong balls to unsuspecting passersby!! Who will do better?

Art Challenge

They sure look like stars, but are they talented when it comes to sketching portraits? I assure you Paul's drawing of Kaykay is amusing enough for you to go watch this.

GO WATCH NOW!