OMG Mike totally proposed to me!!

Ok la, I was exaggerating.

What happened was that one day I had this conversation with Mike:


Me: "Why won't you marry me?!"

Mike: "We are as good as married."

Me: "No!"

Mike: "Why no? We are living together, seeing each other everyday... "

Me: "I wanna you to marry me!!!!"

Mike: "But we are as good as married! There is no difference."

Me: "Ok lor in that case I shall tell everyone we are engaged."

Mike, laughs: "You do that."



The first step nowadays to being engaged is to be facebook-engaged!!


Therefore, this morning when I was very bored, I logged onto his facebook account and.... totally proposed to myself.


I know... It is infinitely loserish but it is still damn shiok!! Those of you who have not been facebook engaged/married before should try it!!! AHAHAHA!!

Omg I got a relationship status request!! Got heart shape somemore!!

Mike totally wants me to add him as my fiance!!


I am touched beyond words!! Yes my love, I accept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*sobs uncontrollably*





TADAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hops around the room showing off non-existent 2 carat Diamond ring to everyone*


I know!! He loves me so much!! I am so blessed!!


*wipes away tears*



OK... That was really fun, even though it is a self-directed love story/comedy.


On a sidenote ah, I was told that an engagement ring is the one with the big diamond, and the wedding ring is normally just a simple band.

Then, after being married, girls wear the wedding ring daily, and the expensive engagement ring is then safely kept in a box.

WTF???????????


If Mike spends $10k on my engagement ring and $3k on my wedding ring, then obviously I wanna wear the $10k shit everyday right? Why would I keep it in a bloody box?

That's just stupid man. It doesn't make sense.

I mean, it does make sense for most girls lah since they have to work and their rings can't be too bling anyway, blah blah... But whatever!

I want my wedding ring to be fucking ostentatious!!!

Please don't talk to me about how less is more hor!! That doesn't even make sense. More is more please! Duh!!!

Talk somemore I scratch your face with my humongous diamond ah!


So anyway, I have thus concluded that my engagement ring should be the simple one (I think maybe a row of smaller diamonds... ahem... for my more toned-down days) and the wedding ring shall be like...


Wait wait wait... I shall google!!


Ok!!


Here's my engagement ring:


In my process of googling for rings, I have decided that 3 rows of diamonds is infinitely better than just 1 row

Correct what... You compare!!

Kua kua... See? 3 rows of diamonds. Nice. Ahem. So much for toned down days.


So anyway, as for the wedding ring, I am inspired by this science teacher I used to have in River Valley. She's very pretty!!

And since I am so short and so talkative/naughty, I am inevitably placed in the front row of classroom seats.

In fact, I am not only in the front row, I am right in the middle, just beside the bloody OHP projector.

Everytime this teacher uses that contraption, her wedding ring REALLY sparkles underneath the intense light as she uses the hands to arrange her transparencies.

Bling bling bling... I spent hours getting distracted by her chioness ring!!


And her ring is a single humongous (or so it seemed to me at that time) solitaire diamond one.

Not 4 clasps:

Yuck


Not 6 clasps:



Boring


But the magical number of 5.

I don't know... I guess its a small detail, but to me it's quite important coz I really do think it's much chioer this way!


Hahahaha!! Talk so much, skarly nobody even wants to marry me lor!!


Wait, why is this one so chio?

Pink diamond leh!! Are real pink diamonds even purchasable in Singapore???


p/s: We are not really engaged. I'm just being boh liao.

Problem solved!!

My blog is now virus-free again!!

Thanks to Roy who helped me. The file was was infected was my blogger.gif file... Kuakua... All I did was to delete it.

My blog readers are awesome!

Help help help why like this?!

OK.... I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE TROJAN!!!!

I already removed all links to awfulplasticsurgery!! What else can I do?

PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!

P/s: Erm hello? I don't think some of you understand. It is not ME who has the virus, it is that my blog is spreading a trojan! What has scanning my computer got to do with it? I already did and my computer is A-ok!

All I know is that the trojan's name is giframe, and it is spreading itself through a file called blogger[1].gif, if I am not wrong.

Also, I probably got it coz I linked to awfulplasticsurgery.com, which is also spreading trojans. I removed the links but the trojan is still there.

This is fucking annoying!!

$100 to the first person to SUCCESSFULLY help me solve this problem!!! (Saying vague things like "try republishing your posts?" does not count.)

Please email me at xiaxue@gmail.com if you are some incredibly smart IT geek, thanks!!

UPDATE: Solved! I think! If you are still getting the trojan, please let me know.

New vids again!!

OMG!

I am so busy!!

My freaking computer crashed AGAIN. I think I got some shitass virus, and I honestly can't be arsed to try and fix it so I just formatted it lor.

Gah! Can you believe my luck? This must be the, I dunno, umpteenth time this year. HATE! (Thank god I don't have any saucy chatlogs with male celebrities otherwise lost how? Just kidding... I've got not 1 but 2 portable hard drives!!! I am that Kiasu!!)

So anyway, I swear I'm coming up with the bestest blog entry ever!! But it is not done yet, so just wait for a bit yeah?

Meanwhile I have an advertorial to finish too, and Indulgz also invited me for round 4 of food tasting so I am very excited!! Woohoo!!

And hor, just to clarify, I DID NOT send Plastic's pictures to awfulplasticsurgery hor, thanks.

Just so happens that the day before her pictures were posted up, I also linked that website!! Got more suay or not you tell me?!?!?!

I swear I didn't know what the webmaster was going to post, ok! Sompah!

Or................................

Maybe I am a prophet? YOU THINK? I could be!! Ok, I predict tomorrow's weather will be rainy again. Let's see if I really have propheting skills.

WTF man... If I were the one sending in the pictures you can be certain those won't be my descriptive words! (Coz I certainly don't think she is prettier now...)

So anyway, new videos!!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



Bff auditions round 2!

See the contestants in the flesh!
I love them all :D

CHICK VS DICK



The Quiz Challenge


Is KK or Paul smarter?
Paul displays his skill at naming planets.



CRACK COMEDY



Sleazy Aerobics

I'd love my gym teacher to be this amusing!!


Click to watch all!!

Btw, please do not insult the bff contestants in the comments, thanks. :)

Love!!


p/s: Is there some sort of virus on my blog?? GASP! How the hell do I remove it?! And how did I get it?!

p/p/s: I think it has to do with awfulplasticsurgery la!! My comp was saying it is an attack site and I still went to it... Nabeh then tio virus!!! I removed all links to that site already, so it shouldn't be a problem now. Please let me know if you know anything, or if the virus is still around!!

p/p/p/s: I am SO SORRY if you kena virus from my blog!! Remember to always back up your stuff and please don't install any weird files with weird extensions ok!!!

New Venture

We have recently added ceramic bead making to our project in Namibia. Getting our beads imported is aways a problem here, and we hope this new venture will provide more jobs as well as lessen our imports. As our project purpose, is to to help the unemployed, we have always used Fair Trade principles. Now, we are starting to wade through the paper work to begin the long process of certification.

COMPASSION

A few interesting and exciting things have happened in the last couple of weeks. I heard last week that my entry for the $20,000 Tattersall's Club Landscape Art Award is one of the 47 shortlisted entries. The award is announced on the 10th September.

Also, I have been asked to be one of the presenters at Creative Conversation 3: Peaceful Space Sound Space and the Environment- An Intercultural Dialogue http://www.ecco.org.au/cc3/ on September 6 at the University of Queensland. You are welcome to register online for this event.

And, I have been asked to make speeches at a couple of other events over the next few months. I will update as more details are confirmed.

In my previous BLOG entry I wrote about the space between the macro/micro-global/local and ideas of rethinking perspective. In the last BLOG and the previous one called 'Perspective' I briefly mentioned my thoughts about compassion. It is interesting because I feel that in this globalised world which we see simultaneously through our 'local' eyes we must make space for compassionate conversation and relationships. If we don't the globalised world maybe destroyed by dysfunction, brutality and conflict. Indeed, there are places where these are already happening and we must find ways to to be more compassionate otherwise insanity is the alternative.

I have thought about compassion a lot since my experiences exhibiting in the Middle East and the wonderful conversations I had with people from all over the region, Estern Europe and Africa [I have previously writtten about this]. What has struck me is that post-modernism and its insidious infiltration of many of our western social, cultural, financial and educational structures lacks compassion...not in a deliberate way but in more of an 'autistic' way. By this I mean that many aspects of post-modernism seem to me to be protective mechanisms designed to help explain that which is inexplicable when the capacity for sentient 'feeling' is not present or lacking. This is not to say that these mechanisms are not incredibly clever, intelligent and fascinating. In fact, these are very seductive elements which have great merit and enjoyment, but do they create a wholeness within which space/distance is made to move and experience different perspectives? Even understanding that the whole needs to acknowledge the possibility of the 'outside'?

I believe we are seeing the collapse of structures created in the era of post-modernism. For example-I have previously written about my thoughts on the sub-prime crisis ie: that the lending of money to people who have minimum ability to pay back loans if one element of the system changes eg: interest rates, was created on an illusion. Each borrower was not individually 'big time', but grouped together the size of the aggregate debt was/is such 'big time' that it has caused the crumbling of financial sytems around the world. The idea of 'sub' meaning 'under' is also intriguing because by its title 'sub-prime' indicates that the disaster has occurred at foundation levels and we all know if foundations are not strong the structure above is compromised. Yet, the illusion of of strength was clearly evident. Any illusion cannot be compassionate because it is an illusion!

So, back to compassion. The 'space between' is the place I believe compassion can appear. This space is that place between perspectives of and from the macro/micro-global/local. How do we negotiate this space? Conversaton is a crutial element. Agendaless conversation is rich with possibility and this is where the direction of these conversations can go...to possibility and discovery. The distance within possibility is exciting. I also, think that art can be one of the catalysts for these types of conversations. However, my impression of art created with post-modernist attributes [especially when exagerrated by sensationalism] is that finding the 'space between' is difficult because subtelty and nuance are not the same as illusion, simulation, appropriation etc. The latter are tricks and the viewer remains unsure [even scared] although often entertained... yet nuance and subtelty are more inviting and illicit in a way which is...well...compassionate.

To me compassion is shared. It is about putting oneself in another's shoes to see different perspectives and possibly changing yourself and your views as a result. Whereas, sympathy is something which is given to another who receives it. It is, in a way, less personal and more transient. I also think it is something which people may become tired of giving after a period of time...


So, there is more to be said, but I have go and paint!

Lifeblood Oil on linen 90 x 200 cm 2008

Good stuff

Thanks for the nice emails and comments you guys left. It's great. I didn't know so many people went through similar plights too!

The good thing is, now T's my friend again.

And some other good news!!

Tadah! Passed my advanced!

I was in a damn glum mood travelling there. When I reached, I paid money to the cabbie and said to myself, "Ok, I go take the test already..."

He turned around, smiled at me and told me good luck, so that really cheered me up. How come ah? It's so nice when strangers are nice to you.

I had about 5 or so questions I wasn't sure of, so I anyhowly ti-kum lor. And passed!!

It's so great... Now the tests are computerized so you will know your results immediately!

Yup yup!!


I booked my practical test too. It will be on the 5th of December!! If I pass it, I will be able to drive in USA (flying 10th of Dec)!! Excitedness!! Then I won't have to keep asking a reluctant Mike to drive me to the mall!!!!!! OMG!!

Here's my PDL

Too bad it ends on 11th of Nov. I guess I'd have to renew it.

Manual or Auto??

I booked for an auto test, coz I'm like pretty sure I'll fail the manual... But Mike drives a manual car so even if I pass the auto I can't drive his car!!!!!!

Decisions decisions!

Me driving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The image is fucking hilarious. I'm so short I expect I will have to sit on several tall cushions. Oei! Stop laughing hor!!


Also... also...

ZHNG-ed MY SIDEKICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally the little fucker works!!

My code arrived!!! I paid $92 for someone to unlock it on eBay! :(

The amount of money I spent on this phone........ Le sigh...

But it's worth it!!

It is as heavy as a brick and has zero functions - the camera sucks big time, the internet functions cannot be used, and the battery life is tragic (1 day)...

But... Everyone is still very impressed by the swivel screen! Plus it's designed by JUICY COUTURE, so no complains!


I know... You are waiting with baited breath......

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With flash...

I am so sorry the photos really cannot manage to capture the real chioness of it.

The crystals are not dark pink like that. And the colour I used for zhnging was Light Rose AB.

AB crystals are fucking chio la! It's like this iridescent coating on top of the crystals that make them sorta multi-coloured...

Without flash.

I guess this is the most accurate portrayal of the correct colour, but without flash you cannot see how sparkly it really is. Plus the pic is blur...

The phone is decorated with baby pink pearls and about 7 different sizes of light rose AB crystals.

With flash

Without...

The left side of the picture shows how it's like in real life.

I'm waiting for the a new batch of crystals to come from artbeads.com!! When they do, I'm gonna zhng the back of the phone too. Bling bling!!

Paul and Kaykay... I was there when they were filming their Singing Challenge. That's donkey years ago can?!

AND FINALLY..........


The photos you guys have been requesting for!!


Presenting......

My lip fillers!!

No make-up except for eyelash extensions

These are taken on the first night the fillers were done, so they are still tremendously swollen.

I really really liked them when they were that size! I know most of you will be like, oh, look like duck etc, but I liked it!!!

Unfortunately, Dr Georgia Lee wanted to go light on me since it's my first time, and didn't put so much filler in. After the swell went down, the difference is quite subtle. If I can, I'll go and ask her for a bit more.

DR LEE IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg I have to rave about her. She's really nice! And when you talk to her, she doesn't care about charges or price... she's more interested to sincerely HELP us girls get prettier.

It's like an art for her, that's why she analyzes your face for you and gives advice on what can be improved, etc.

She gave me around maybe 20 small jabs on the lips. She has like all these little tips and tricks for how to do it so it will have the maximum and best effect!!

I've went with friends to other aesthetic doctors too, but I feel that they don't have that sort of sincerity and passion... They just do whatever they are asked to, and that's it. It is no wonder Dr Lee is the hot favourite among the stars la!!

If you want to do non-invasive work too, you can give her clinic a ring. Her website is HERE.

Woohoo!

She's really good!!! I can't stop raving can??

Night out at Rouge

I met with Rozzie and Gillian, together with Rozzie's friends Patricia Mok and Gordon.

On cab there. I dunno what's with the solemn expression.

See, the lips are nice right?? The difference is not that much, but from the side it is more obvious.

Me with Pat.

She's like a more toned down version of herself on TV in real life. Still very funny and expressive, but not so loud. Haha!! I really like her!! And she very vain and gossipy!! Hehe...


And also also!! My smile's not so gummy anymore!

So if you have a gummy smile too... Maybe can give Dr Lee a ring? BTW she never asked me to advertise for her hor. I just like her and her work so much!!

My normal cam mode... Pat adjusted the flash settings, and...

Tadah!



I dunno how she did it lor! Looks like daylight outside.



Rouge

ME ME ME!!

I love the lips and Dr Georgia Lee!

Omg it rhymes.

Too much drama

Can't sleep.... I've got my advanced driving test today at 1130am, but my mind is so filled with buzzing thoughts I can't really absorb all that shit. Why is it that when you are in a higher gear your engine uses less power?? I don't geddit??

So. Yesterday night I got incredibly vexed.

I wonder if it is true that when you gain friends you will also lose friends, such that your amount of friends will more or less be always equal?

BFF auditions have ended, and I'm down to my final 2 picks, which I have not chosen yet. I like them both a lot, and of course, these are the two new friends I gained.


As for the 2 that I lost... Well, it's a long story. Why not? I'll tell it to you.


I've known Guy X for 4 years, and we've always been close. And then, about 1 year ago, I got to know Girl X. I like her a lot, and the first time I actually met her, I brought Guy X along with me.


They got introduced to each other, hit it off, and started a relationship.

During the course of their year-long relationship, I was very close to the two of them.


One day, Guy X was found cheating on Girl X. Cheating... Had the intention to cheat. Semantics. To me, whether caught in the act or not does not make a difference.

Girl X was devastated.

Time passed after this break up. More drama ensued, as a close friend, let's call him T, told Girl X, with her heavy coaxing, some more dirty secrets of Guy X.

This close friend T was in love with Girl X, and has been for the longest time.

Of course, Guy X is furious with T for betraying his trust, and vowed to seek revenge on him.


Initially after the break up, Girl X told everyone that she will never get back together with Guy X.

Guy X, however, persisted in winning her back as he claims he loves her a lot. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep... He was at her beck and call, and Girl X is pretty good at mind-fucking him. He was in a horrible state.

I kept my silence for 1 month.

I had found out that Girl X has been telling others that she was merely playing Guy X - manipulating his feelings.

She has moved on to liking other guys, and she made out with that above-mentioned close friend T.


Initially, I gave her the benefit of doubt.

I thought she was in a self-destructive phase because she was so hurt and so sad.


But time passed and nothing changed. Girl X was still flirting with other guys happily. At least, that was my impression. Meanwhile, Guy X knew nothing of what's happening. I wondered if I should tell him.


Well... Guy X managed to coax me to tell him.

Although Girl X was also my friend, I told him what I knew, because he told me he was suffering and he NEEDED a reason to walk away.

He told me he lost 8kg. I felt so sorry for him because when I met him, he was really a bag of bones.

I told him he didn't need to walk away forever.

Just calm down, give the relationship a short break for like 2 weeks. When you two are no longer clouded by emotions, then make the decision whether to get back like adults.


And I told Guy X... I said... If I tell you the information I know, you must SWEAR not to tell Girl X ANYTHING that I said, because it will jeopardise my friendship with her, and not only that, it will also drag my informant into big trouble.


He said he promise.

I made him swear UPON MY LIFE.

He said OK.

HE SWORE UPON MY LIFE HE WOULDN'T TELL.

Guess what?


After hearing all those reasons why he should walk away, Guy X was still hankering after Girl X. They were meeting every night. They still had relations going on. And yes... All this while as I said, Girl X has moved on with someone else; had relations with someone else. Guy X didn't mind. He chose to forgive.


I don't give a shit about that.

I do give a shit about this:

Guy X blabbed.

He not only blabbed, he sold me out, as well as the poor innocent person who told me the info. He not only confronted Girl X with the facts that I told him, he also conveniently told her EVERY single thing I said about her, including my opinion that I think Girl X is scary.


I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF I AM SHAKING AS I WRITE THIS.


I CANNOT BELIEVE THE NERVE OF GUY X.


There he was, sitting on his high horse, BERATING HIS CLOSE FRIEND T FOR SELLING HIM OUT......... SAYING HE WOULD NEVER DO THE SAME TO HIS FRIENDS.....


Why was T wrong? Because T was in love with Girl X and he thought that Girl X was the victim??

BECAUSE GIRL X SAID THE EXACT SAME THING AS HIM, that she needed a reason to walk away??



He turns right around and backstabbed me... Why?

Because he wants to gain Girl X's trust?

No... Scratch that. I fucking have NO IDEA why he would go and tell her.


If he chose to forgive her actions, then why didn't he just keep his silence and keep going with her?


If he chose NOT to forgive, then just walk away! Didn't have to give any justifications!




I WAS HIS FRIEND FOR FUCKING FOUR YEARS OK!

To Guy X:

YOU GO FUCKING THINK ABOUT EVERY-SINGLE-FUCKING-THING I'VE DONE FOR YOU.


The final glorious thing I did for you...


Before you kicked me off to the Land of Negligible Sworn Lives...

I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH TO HELP YOU.

IN SPITE OF GIRL X...
Because I thought that she was stronger than you.

I did it for YOU because I couldn't bear to see you suffer.

AND YOU USED MY LIFE AS YOUR CASUAL SWEARING TOKEN.... AS A FLIMSY EXCHANGE FOR WHAT?


When you wanted to go to KL to go for a girl, who went with you? When you said you are upset and needed to meet, who without fail went to meet you?

When everyone was despising you for cheating on Girl X, WHO FUCKING STOOD BY YOUR SIDE, HEARD YOUR STORY AND TRIED TO CONVINCE HER TO GIVE U A SECOND CHANCE?

WHENEVER YOU ASKED ME TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, HAVE I EVER SAID NO?


IS THIS HOW YOU REPAY ME?


If I die tomorrow, can you answer to my mother? Can you tell her in her face that it's because of your freaking LOVE for Girl X? HUH? Can you?


I don't think you feel guilty over this. Nope... I don't think so. Why? Because the only people who matter to you are those you "love". Family... And your current love interest, whomever it may be.

Friends... What are friends?

It's ok to fuck them over, because with your superb talking skills, you can convince them to not be angry later on.

Go ask yourself how many times you have done shit to me and I have forgiven you.

When you did shit to my girlfriends... Multiple times... When you promised to help Mike in his job search and never delivered...

No need for excuses. I am done listening. You have the gift of the gab, I give you that. You can sell milk to a cow easily.

But I'm done.

I don't need friends who will casually fuck me over for vagina... and yes, even for your stupid fuck-shit dogs that I don't give a flying fuck about. I'll give it another kick down the stairs now if I could.

What's the big deal? It's just a stupid dog leh...

Life of a fellow human you also can casually throw around like it's NOTHING to you... meaning my life is worth less than your dogs?



I know where I stand with you now. If you wish to do harmful things to me like what you wish to do to T, all I can say is, go ahead and do it.

Think about all the things I can also do to you. All the things you said to me in private about others I could tell them.... A mention of your name, or your photo on this blog....

BUT I WON'T, OK?

You know why? Because friendship is not meant as a revenge tool like that. When you confided in me, it is because you trusted me. I won't use it against you just because I am mad at you.

I remember the numerous good things you have done for me, and I forgive. Yes, I am angry now, but I forgive you. I just won't talk to you ever again.


And I'll die knowing that I did you no wrong, and when I tried to help you, you kicked me in the face.





Right. I shall calm down. Back to the story.


So now, Girl X is very angry, hurt, and disappointed with me. She told our mutual friend that she has told Guy X the truth about her actions the past month. She broke things off cleanly with her new guy.

Now, she says, Guy X wants her back, and Girl X wants him back. So they are back together!

Hooray!

What an awesome reunion.


They truly deserve each other. I am saying this is a matter-of-fact way.

In this world, there are some people who respect relationships and commitment.

These are the people that will never cheat, because fucking 2 people at the same time is just plain disgusting, not to say hurtful to the other party you love.

And then there are Cheaters. Unfortunately, the world is filled with unions of Cheaters and Non-Cheaters, such that the Non-Cheater will of course, eventually get hurt.

Thus, Cheaters should always date fellow Cheaters. This way, fewer honest people will get hurt in their quests for endless attention, correct?




I am SUPERBLY angry with myself. In my effort to help a relationship, all I did was to kick myself in the nutsack, metaphorically speaking.

From this moment on, I hereby promise myself
that I WILL NEVER, EVER GIVE OUT
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE AGAIN.

Why?

Because people in bad relationships LOVE it.

They love the drama, the mind games, the breaking and patching, the abuse, the shouting matches, the suicide attempts.

It's true! They love every moment of it!!

What's the point of advising Carrie to drop Big and go for Aidan?

No point, because when destructive people like that are faced with honest, good types, they get bored and they start unleashing abuse on the these honest, good people.


So don't be stupid like me, ok? If your friend is one of these, don't bother telling to say shit about his/her partner in an effort to make him/her leave the relationship.

What will just happen is that your friend will conveniently tell his/her partner every-single-fucking-thing you said, and the next time you see them together, things will be immensely awkward.



Yup. I have been really, really dumb.


Regarding Girl X. I've nothing against her. She did nothing to me, and her personal choices that don't affect me are not my business. As I mentioned at the start, I like her very much, because she is very bubbly, funny, and she's a very loyal friend. She has been nothing but nice to me, and I've been nothing but that to her too, except for the way I handled this incident.

I sent her an email apologizing for letting Guy X know the truth without consulting her first, and yes, I am sincerely sorry for that.


I should have spoken to you, but you were right... I was being a coward because I didn't know how to face you. All I can say is that I am sorry.


I don't wish be involved in all these sagas anymore.

I just want to write my script properly and be happy with undramatic, peaceful friends... and my undramatic, peaceful Mike.


Comments disallowed.

Extra

Here's an interesting nugget of info about me... Did you know, that before I got my own TV show *ahem*, I was a calefare??

When I was 16, my dad had a friend who's a producer at the then TCS, and he went to tell her I wanna go into acting or something!

Seeing my very-much-less than mediocre looks, she told me that I can start off working as an EXTRA on films, and she gave me the contacts of one of then agencies who are responsible for extras.

And I "acted" in many shows! Ok la, I use the word "act" loosely... Actually I only walk around in the background. HAHAHAHA!

Don't believe me? Look what I found!

My old acting pass!!

Hahaha!! Very super chou right??? And I was still wondering why last time nobody "discover" me!!!!!!!!

What's with the half closed eyes man... How did my mother love me with such an ugly face??

So this Auspic or whatever company... Would dispatch extras to usually Mediacorp Channel 8 shows, where the job is sibeh low-pay and requires no talent whatsoever!

You know how low the pay is? Like freaking $2.50 per hour! The reason why people do it is because most of the calefares are either students or foreigners, and the job is really damn easy - so if you are lazy, this is a good job for you!

Basically, the calefares sit around while watching the stars do their job... This can go on for like 5 hours straight. Then, when it's our scene, we do a walk or whatever we are required to do, and that's it!

I remember there used to be these crazy loserish people who do this job simply because they are so starstuck.

There was this fat chick who was like 20+ and she carries around this photoalbum of all the stars' photos and would show them to anyone she can - and she will boast that Zoe Tay knows her by name, etc. Every single day she goes to TCS and hangs around there lor!! She was damn fugly man. I was quite scared of her over-zealousness.

So anyway, I really can't remember much of the shows I acted in, except for...

- a lot of episodes of the first season of Moulmein High (I was a student),

- Fann Wong and Ou Yang Zhen Hua show called Wo Lai Ye,

- A show about probation officers and Celeste Chong was blind in it,

- Some show where I was a nurse, and the doctor beside me actually used the "Wo men jing li le" phrase when his patient died.

- Confirm got more but I can't remember la!


I wish wish wish that I can watch Moulmein High again!! I was a librarian and even sheeshed someone ok! Talking scene hor!! Excitedness!!

Wo lai ye was a period drama... So we had filming at this HORRIBLE place in Tuas where they use for filming all local period dramas.

My god, I tell you, that place is a bloody HELL HOLE. I don't wonder why there are no more period dramas now anymore - I bet the directors and actors all can't stand that place!

First, it is RIDICULOUSLY hot there. There are derelict buildings scattered here and there, but these buildings all do not have airconditioning (then la... 8 years ago).

Inside the buildings are stuffy and dirty. Outside the buildings?

Over 40 degrees, I bet. The ground is hard cracked SAND. Like the yellow colour kind... The heat coming from the ground is so intense that at any point you can see the air molecules jumping in excitement. You know when it is very hot and you can see the air dance? Yup.

And worst of all, there are whole colonies of tiny flies that hover in a cloud above the sand. Hundreds and thousands of them! Sometimes you stupidly enough walk into a cloud of them, and they swarm around your face and shit. OMG!!

But never mind that, because the flies cannot attack our baked bodies as period drama costumes involve wearing 3 freaking layers!!!!

Who said acting is easy man!?

Anyway that's it la. That's just one of the old fugly photos I wanted to show you guys. When I finish editing I post them up!!

Ta! Have a good weekend!


p/s: Congrats to the Singapore women's table tennis team. May we get our first gold medal!!!!!!!! Woohoo!! I am so proud of Singapore!!

p/p/s: Weightlifting is so scary! I saw a clip of a weightlifter who lifted his barbell and suddenly, one arm bent over backwards at his elbow, severely dislocating it!!!

The weightlifter fell to the ground with one arm is a very very very awkward and scary position, his elbow very prominent but not thankfully breaking through the skin. His leg even spasmed twice before he presumably fainted. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another clip (which I didn't see but heard off) was of a weightlifter being crushed by a 140 kg barbell??? He must have a pound of minced meat left for whatever was crushed man!

How is this even a sport??! It's so freaking scary and dangerous! Why can't they compete pulling a truck fastest instead??

p/p/p/s: Normally I can't be arsed about the Olympics la but I was at Munkysuperstar's office today and everyone was cheering Li Jia Wei on, so I got a bit infected.

New videos!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

BFF applicants



I check out all the weirdos who applied to be my bff.
It's fucking funny!
Obviously the finalists are not these la.


CHICK VS DICK

The Orange Souffle Challenge



Who is the better baker?
Who made this vomit-looking concoction on the picture?
Hilarious! Click to watch!


CRACK COMEDY

Irreplaceable



We've heard of girlfriends who turn vengeful when they are ditched...
How about guys?
Maybe you should watch this.

That's all for now! I'm busy with my movie script.

Next entry I'm gonna post up old fugly photos of myself!!

DANCE WITH DISTANCE

I attended the Daphne Mayo Art History lecture at the University of Queensland Art Museum on Thursday night. The visiting scholar who gave the lecture is Terry Smith, FAHA, CIHA the Andrew W Mellon Professor of Contemporary Art History and Theory in the Department of the History of Art and Architecture at the University of Pittsburgh, and a Visiting Professor in the Faculty of Architecture, University of Sydney. The title of his talk was ‘The History of Contemporary Art: Paradoxes and Antinomies’.

Prof Smith discussed the meaning of 'contemporary' and posed questions relating to what it means to be contemporary and contemporaneous. He touched upon time suggesting that being ‘of the time’ or ‘of the moment’ identified the space/place which might be called contemporary. Whilst placing his discussion on a broad frame of historical context and human existence he devoted his attention to exploring the question… What is contemporary art?

While he was talking I became more and more excited because I felt he was investigating and trying to explain the essence of how humanity now exists in the space created between and in the macro and micro [global and local] and that this space is the contemporary place. I believe he saw this as the space between the paradoxes and antimonies referred to in his title. I have written before about the simultaneity of perspective ie: global and local, macro and micro. I have also described distance, both spatial or temporal, as having the capability of being close or far. So, this space between the macro and micro need not be about a large distance, but rather a distance that expands and contracts from nano size to something more. I believe this ‘distance between’ is not about opposites or extremes, but more about negotiating that which may appear to be particular and anything which seems to diffuse particularity keeping in mind that 'particularity' depends on perspective. I also feel that if we mistake this distance between the macro and micro as being a space between two extant opposites we will miss discovering new trajectories and the resulting new spaces/distances. Negotiating life which is increasingly seen as both global and local is the dilemma of the contemporary.

In reference to my own work I have previously written about the multi perspective approach I employ to engage the viewer in an observation which has the potential to give the experience of simultaneously being in many places/perspectives at the one time. My work is intentionally ambiguous with regards to viewpoint ie: a viewer might feel they are above, below, inside, outside, in front or behind, close or far or a combination. I wonder if this experience might enable someone to understand that in this globalised world we need to be able to place ourselves in another’s or many others’ shoes in order to conduct business, diplomacy, politics, cultural exchange and so on…and also to view ourselves from a distance outside. This is where compassion for ourselves and others enters [I will talk about this more further on]. My multi perspective approach suggests that we have the capacity or perhaps the potential ability to learn to ‘see’ everything around us [like having eyes all over our bodies] giving us the ability to discover trajectories we may not otherwise be aware of.

The act of painting is about seeing with the eye ball and pupil but also seeing with the mind’s eye. As I [and other artists] move back and forth from our work examining them as close and far distance we make decisions based on what our seeing eye thinks looks good and what our mind’s eye wants to achieve in respect of meaning, message, essence and/or aura. The physical act of moving back and forth is a dance which exemplifies the processes of negotiating the space/distance between the macro and micro. The creative act, in a way, provides clues for how we can negotiate living in the contemporary space/distance. Like any dance there are moments of inclusion and exclusion…the push-me-pull-you of energy.

I have written before about finding a shared compassion with visitors to my exhibition in Abu Dhabi in 2005. My paintings were the catalysts for the most amazing conversations with people from all over the Middle East, Africa and Eastern Europe. I realised I had to suspend ownership over the completion of my work because each conversation brought another completion. I discovered that my use of multi perspectives and the trans-cultural/religious tree-of-life motif propelled conversations to deeper levels because time was not spent on explanation. People shared their hopes, dreams and in some cases despair with me and in the process we discovered we had new perspectives of each other collapsing barriers of difference which set us apart. By discovering points of similarity we discovered intimate spaces of shared compassion.

I think this potential capacity for shared compassion is the great hope of a globalised world perhaps providing clues to new pathways to peace. This compassion is not about sympathy which has an intrinsic inequality. Compassion to me is much more honourable, respectful, mutual and has the potential to be truly intimate. So, if living in the space/distance between the macro and micro/global and local is what being contemporary is about I believe compassion has an important part to play. I say this because once people develop skills of ‘seeing’ different perspectives compassion and understanding, albeit not necessarily agreement, will propel relationships and negotiations both globally and locally. The alternative is too horrible!

For me contemporary art is a reflective and affective agent for the qualities within the ‘space between’ where simultaneity, compassion and the sensational [as opposed to sensationalist] are evoked with simplicity [as opposed to simplistically]. Contemporary art is an exploration of a space which I am beginning to think might be where we rediscover the aura encompassing time and space ie: existence. Contemporary art can [but not necessarily] be an affective agent assisting people to understand and negotiate this ‘space between’. I don’t like to think art has a defined ‘role’ because it denotes predetermination or prescription. However, art certainly has an affective agency.

But back to the Daphne Mayo lecture. I came away feeling more sure that my work is truly contemporary. In this age of multi media/new media I [and other artists] sometimes feel that because we don’t employ these new mediums then our work is ‘old hat’… unless of course it is simplistically confrontational/sensationalist and gains immediate attention [that’s another story].

I believe my work can be described as truly contemporary because I am inspired to paint images that ‘speak’ about the co-existence of the macro and micro, that identify the existence of the space between the macro and micro and the possibility of new horizons which are not necessarily in front of us, collapsing linear/horizon line notions of perspective, engaging other cultures without appropriating them, revealing the simplicity within the complex and vice versa. By doing these things I have become more comfortable shimming through concepts of distance whether close or far. My solo exhibition in London in 2002 was actually called ‘Distance’. Whilst I know I had not fully thought about the various issues I have written about here I was interested in the fact that distance could be about time and space, could be far and close, and that I was an Australian exhibiting at a far distance from her home country. This latter more literal aspect, whilst a little banal, I now realise is important because the physical/felt experience has a way of entering the psyche. That’s why I deliberately create paintings with multi perspectives hoping that a viewer might have a physical/felt experience of what it is like to be in another or many other places.

In this global world we also see an incredible growth in the self/personal development services. These range from orthodox to alternative often invoking the ‘spiritual’ to assist in attracting clients or genuinely exploring its endless qualities. People are gaining new perspectives of themselves by delving into the possibilities of self/personal development. So whilst our world view becomes vast, and we can now book a holiday in space, we also feel compelled to ‘look into’ and examine ourselves because we want to understand ‘how to be’ in a world which can be scarily immense. This desire can be extrapolated to the burgeoning support/counselling services for the other micro components of the whole ie: family, business, corporate, government, national entities.

I have uploaded the above image for a few reasons. One is that it is a new work. Two…it is ‘seeing’ the interiority of vastness at the same time as witnessing the vastness. Three…it plays with perspective. I have called this painting ‘Viscera’ meaning that the internal life forces of the earth are revealed. Yet, ignoring the detail the sum total is a large landscape. Yet, is the viewer sure of where they stand in view of this vast landscape? Is the viewer in front of a land and sky scene or above a landscape of land and water or inside the internal workings? The landscape seems to be born from a tree…the tree-of-life with its branches becoming visceral and vascular reminding us that our bodies hold these same truths and energies. This is where the image can devolve into something more universal than a particular landscape. I like the fact that a viewer standing at a distance will ‘see’ a different landscape to the one they see when up close, yet it is the same landscape. You, the reader, can have a similar experience by clicking on the image to make it larger. Enticing the viewer to move back and forth from the painting replicates the moves I made when creating it. This dance with distance is an important component of my work.

Viscera Oil on linen 90 x 200 cm 2008

Solved it! I think...

I've heard a lot of complains that my blog doesn't seem to load correctly for IE users. All that happens is a blank page.

I -think- that the problem was the Nuffnang poll, which for some reason did not go well with my template. So I took it off, and my friend told me the page now can be seen!

Sorry I took so long to solve this problem!

If you also encountered the same thing, can you tell me if the problem is solved now? Thank you!!

Partying with the hoi polloi (sarcasm)

Happy day everyone!!

I am elated!!

I am most glad of all coz Munkysuperstar, my managing company as well as the production company for Xiaxue's Guide to Life, approached Dr Georgia Lee...

Dr Georgia Lee is of course the most famous aesthetics doctor in Singapore, right? Right.

AND SHE AGREED TO DO LIP PLUMPING AND BOTOX FOR ME FOR GUIDE TO LIFE!!!!!

Happy beyond words can??

So yesterday I did lip fillers and botox on my jawline at her clinic (like exactly what Rozzie did for Girls Out Loud) and I AM SO PLEASED!!

You know how my smile used to be very very GUMMY? Now, because my upper lip is fuller and more pouty, cannot see gums anymore!!

And botox is done for making the muscles at the side of your face smaller so that your face will look thinner!

The video will be out soon and I will post up photos also!!

So far EVERYBODY said the lips are nice, but the botox cannot see much diff yet.

DR LEE IS FREAKING AWESOME OK!!! I love her so much imma do free advertorial for her once I get pictures!!

Don't worry don't worry... I am not addicted to plastic surgery ok! These are non-invasive (are they?) and effects are only temporary. And complimentary of course I do!


Secondly, I am happy because my shopping arrived!!

I bought loads of crystals from Artbeads.com to zhng stuff! They've got more choices than Arab street, so why not!?

Anyway, my sidekick is STILL NOT WORKING. Yes. I bought this little chip that you insert WITH your sim card, and it worked for 1 full day.

Then it stopped working. So now the GODDAMN phone is still locked!

I bought another unlock code but it will only arrive on August 22nd. By then I die already lor!

My Juicy desk accessories set, bought for $55 USD!! -_- That's not counting shipping.

It's so chio though...! Unfortunately it is made of paper. Kuakua!!

And my lovely mouse!!!!!!!!! $45 USD. SO HAPPY!!

And guess what...

This is making me actually pee in excitement.

THE TALES OF BEEDLE THE BARD IS READY FOR PURCHASE!

For those of you who don't know, J K Rowling penned another book... This book is called The Tales of Beedle the Bard - it is a storybook of magical fairy tales. The book is mentioned as the book that Dumbledore passed to Hermione in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Once I heard the news that amazon is selling the book, I immediately clicked there and spent USD$100 on the precious collector's edition.

AHEM. It is not wasting money ok! It is called INVESTING! All of Rowling's first edition books are sold for THOUSANDS on ebay lor!

Yes, MAYBE those has her signature on them la... But still!

Anyway my USD$100 is all donated to CHARITY! So that's great too!


I know what you are thinking...

"Lawsuit maybe flying your way, still go and spend so much money shopping!"

Wah lau... She want to sue don't sue like that, I can't possibly be scrimping till she makes up her mind right?

Wait till I get the writ of summons then cross that bridge la, seriously.

To the someone who paypal-ed me $100, I am going to return it to you. You send it to me again if the real need arises k!!

But will this lawsuit happen? If it does, I do want to go to court and ask Dawn a BARRAGE of questions!!

Like... Are you really Eurasian? Are you DELIRIOUSCHIC and XOXODOLL?? So many mysteries so little time!

Very curious right? I'm sure you also want to see her answer these under oath. :)

*****************************

Momo and my 2 girl cousins and my auntie came over to my place that day...

I love my cousin Cally's niap niap baby girl...

This is baby Chloe!

Her mummy and daddy both got huge eyes so hers are like marbles also. She loves looking at me!! I think it's because of all the shimmery things I have.

OMG I AM RAGGGGGGGGGING WITH MATERNAL INSTINTS!! RAGING!!!!!!

We put her on the bed where she is very confused by all the aunties gossiping.



Happy babies make me happy!



She's really curious and gives you her full
attention when you speak to her



So niap! Why babies got such nice clean armpits??

After this we bring the baby to Ikea Tampines...

Chloe's grandma, aka my auntie, makes her chuckle in joy by poking her in the belly.

BTW this is the auntie who is an MJ queen can?

Once, during a game, she won by drawing the very last card. So I said "Hai di lao yue!"


SHE SCOLDED ME AND SAID THAT IS NOT HAI DI LAO YUE!!!!!!

I was like, "????????????"

Isn't winning by the last card "hai di lao yue"???

My auntie then explained to me that that term is commonly misused. It is true that winning by the last card adds a "fan", but it is not hai di lao yue...

BECAUSE HAI DI LAO YUE MEANS YOU WIN WITH THE LAST REMAINING TILE AND THAT TILE MUST BE AN YI TONG!!

Thus "yue", which means MOON! Because the bloody yi tong look like moon!

Amazing hor?

Anyway.... back to non MJ related stories...





I am very excited coz Kaykay and I are going to...

Zhen Shan's (aka Arissa) birthday party!

Me being driven there by Mike...

Dress: Heart neckline purple satin short length dress. From This Fashion at $15 OMG!!

Glow: Photoshop new technique learnt from Jamie - Diffuse glow!!

My angmoh very unhappy coz I am going clubbing without him.

I look weird here... Whatever la



WE ARRIVE AT VELVET!!

Where's the birthday girl?

Must be the one with the bunny ears. See they so excited about me coming that they are gossiping in anticipation. Hahahaha!

*poke*

Must take pic with the birthday girl!

I hate Zhen Shan!! Those are her real lashes can??? People like me must put extensions and stick falsies like crazy!!!!

Nabeh why my eyes so small. *kicks sleeping Mike*

Group pic with Kay kay also... Clickable



Kaykay with her friend Joycelin.





Birthday balloons.
One's a skull... Can you tell what's the other?
Answer will be revealed in a bit





Kaykay and I... I miss her so much!
She's been busy with her bf and work, nabeh.



Drinks drinks drinks



Junne and Sharon also at Zouk



Birthday people aren't allowed to be sober



Zhen Shan's mad already... Half bunny half tiger



Roar!!



The guys are drawing unibrows on each other!



Gossipy Kaykay



Here's Annabelle holding the balloons.
Did you guess it right?
It's a unicorn!



Me with Eric

This guy's so talented! I got to know Eric coz we went to NYC for Singapore Day together. Maybe more of you know him by his Chinese name: Huang Yun Ren.

Familiar? That's coz he wrote songs like Tanya Chua's Wu di dong and Fish Leong's Wei wo hao.

NICE RIGHT?? I love those songs can!

Eric also did most of the music for 881, and now he is working on 12 Lotus.

Talented people make me have twangy feelings. Like got some aura on them. You'll never know if you are talking to him and suddenly he has inspiration for some classic work... then you are immortalized as the muse!! OMG! I am totally muse-ish.

Peekaboo!



Me, Joycelin, Rosaline

Zhen Shan with her brother... And I did not draw that moustache on him with photoshop! I am not so childish hor!!

End party photos

More happiness!!!!

Mike brought me up onto the Singapore Flyer!!

Us at the very top...

Psychedelic hor the colours?


We also just bought tickets to fly back to the USA for Xmas and New Year!!

From 10th of Dec to 3rd Jan I will be in lovely Dallas!!

I MISS IT SO MUCH AND I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the USA!! (Although I love Singapore more la)

My hope is that this year Mike's brothers' girlfriends will be very vain and will go shopping with me on Boxing Day.

I am dedicating 10 hours of my time at the mega humongous F21 over there.

Of that 10 hours, 9 shall be at the clearance rank digging out SUMMER CLOTHES ON DISCOUNT!! Omg!!!!!!!

I AM SQUEALING!! So excited!!


But the sad thing is hor... Plane tickets are MADLY expensive this year!!


We are flying SQ, but it costs bloody $2,700!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAD OR WHAT??

Even on lao pok NorthWest or whatever it costs 2.5k, so might as well take SQ right? Stupid petrol prices rising la, that's why.

Anyway this year Mike is sponsoring $2k for my ticket, coz last time when he was poor I bought him a 2k ticket to come to Singapore too...

SIBEH BOH HUA FOR ME LOR~!!! Coz price of the ticket increase mah!! Should be 1 ticket exchange 1 ticket mah!!

But still no complains... $700 is very little compared to $2,700!

Poor Mike... Bank account suddenly $4,700 missing...


So anyway, in case you haven't realised... I AM HAPPY! Woohoo! May the happy spread to you too!


Loves!