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New videos yo!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Going Blonde



Ever thought of dyeing your hair blonde?
It's not as simple as a tub of bleach man! A lot of effort one ok!
Got guest appearance by Kaykay. Click to see. :D


CHICK VS DICK

The Poker Challenge

Kaykay faces Paul Twohill in strip poker. Will kaykay lose all her clothes? Just joking la, it's normal poker! But still very funny nonetheless! Paul makes Kaykay hoping mad again, and for me, that's always fun to see. HAHAHA!!

CRACK COMEDY

Literal waitress



What happens when a waitress takes your orders literally?
Click to find out!

If you got any suggestions for Guide to Life or Chick VS Dick episodes, like for example, you want to see a video guide on how I brush my teeth, etc, do send an email to info@clicknetwork.tv! Your suggestion might just be taken up!

Lastly, here's my radio interview with Rosalyn Lee on 98.7FM. I love you Rozzie and the crazy intern!! muah muah!!



How come some people's embedding can be a chio pink colour frame one ah??

Be Absolutely You

Advertorial sponsored by Kimberly Clark

Ok here's a fair warning... BOYS GO AWAY! This is a girl's entry and purely for females only!

I told you to go away!!

Fine! Read it if you want! I'm gonna be talking about PERIODS!

Frankly, I hate having my period. Everytime it arrives, it reminds me of my early secondary school days when I would get cramps so horrific I can honestly just faint man!

But thinking back now, I realised I don't really hate periods that much anymore. They are more of a come-and-go thing for me and don't really bother me much.

Gone are the secondary school days of staining skirts! And why am I the one who's always washing people's skirts for them as they hide in the toilet??! (BTW I once used chalk/liquid paper to cover up my stain coz my uniform was white. Haha... My mother wasn't pleased.)

As medicine is invented for my cramps, other things are also invented that are a God-sent.

Such as pads so thin:


Kotex Soft and Smooth Ultrathin with wings

(Amazing hor...? And ultra absorbent too!)

The experience of having my period has come a long way since Feb 6 1995 when I first got it.

Yes! I still remember the exact date ok! I ran to my mother and told her, expecting her to hug me and exclaim, "Yes! You are finally a woman my little baby girl!" but she did nothing of that sort.

In fact she just nonchalantly gave me a pad.

A super thick pad!!

Nowadays periods are so much easier. Pads have improved drastically since 1995, and from slim, they become thin, and now... ultrathin!

They are no longer so heavy they make your panties look like diapers.They no longer leak from the sides.

My grandmama told me that during HER time, when pads were still not invented, women had to use pieces of cloth! And the women had to wash their own cloths coz they cannot afford to waste like that!

EWWWWWWW!!

Can you imagine?? So yeah I guess we shouldn't complain about the circa 1990s thick pads.

There can now be so much freedom when it comes to that time of the month. BE ABSOLUTELY YOU!

As long as you use a good brand you can trust (Kotex for me!), you can still go about dancing, jogging etc. No problem. Especially with the super long kind that will never, ever leak. (Unless you are extremely filthy and don't change for 3 days la)


And of course, the best thing about having your period is knowing you are not pregnant. Eh... If you are not ready la. Which I am not, so it's always good for me. If you want to get pregnant and you are not.. Well erm... good for your husband/bf I guess!! Ok... awkward... Moving on!

I was at Watsons the other day and I saw this on the shelf:

Everything is so prettified nowadays!


The flora box contains:



1) Kotex Soft & Smooth Ultrathin 23cm 20 pcs
2) Kotex Soft & Smooth Overnight Ultrathin 28cm 10pc

Kotex Soft and Smooth Ultrathin pads - 28 cm

Now in a minute 5 pc pack!

This chic little package is really convenient as it is super tiny and can fit into any small bag! It only has 5 pads inside. It's awesome for travelling.

After using up the pads, you can use it...



To put your own stuff!

I imagine if you buy a lot of these and keep the boxes you can build a mini-cupboard with them. Haha!

Can also cam-whore with it!!

Hahaha... So boh liao.

So anyway, advertorials always end with a bit of goodies for the readers.

This one is a DAILY lucky draw!

Everyday there is a winner, and you can be a winner more than once!

To enter, easy - just call 1800-6222-888!

With every purchase of $5 of Kotex Ultrathin products, you can stand to win $100 everyday! This starts from 1st July to the 15th of August - 46 long days.

If you still didn't win, fret not! Your entry will then be snowballed for the grand draw of $1,000! Sheesh, I don't mind getting that man. I'd totally get loads of Juicy stuff...! *salivating at the thought*

Click!

Get Kotex now! As my grandmama always says, don't wait until want to shit then go build the toilet bowl. *nods wisely in agreement*

Click to find out more!

p/s: Eh hello?? Reason why there are other bloggers blogging about this too is coz it's the advertiser's initiative? Nobody's copying anyone else as the drafts were all sent in before any publishing was done. OH GOD! People can be so stupid.

EARTH FOR SALE!

Detail Earth For Sale!

Earth For Sale ! [120 x 160 cm Oil on linen] is an image I uploaded recently and said I would 'talk' more about it. This painting is painted with $ signs. It took me forever! However, I am really quite happy with the work as I believe it not only looks appealing, but it 'says' all that I wanted to suggest.

I have painted this as a deliberately ambiguous landscape. It could be an aerial view or a landscape of mountains and sky or even the sea/river. The viewer is unaware of the $ signs until they are up close. This is a deliberate action to suggest the Earth is being sold but have we really noticed?

For instance water is not simply water any more! Useable water is a finite commodity harvested, irrigated, licensed, allocated, contracted, mined and sold. Irrigated cotton farms turn ordinary land into mega million dollar properties. Minerals are furiously extracted to satisfy a frenzy of need in places such as China. Grains and seeds grown in overly stretched rich soils or in forcibly fertilised and irrigated marginal soils are harvested not just for food but for bio fuels. The latter reducing food supplies to starving countries. Forests are cut down to make money, but in the process compromising the balance of nature.

Water is of particular interest to me because I grew up on a grain farm at Pirrinuan, outside Dalby on the Darling Downs, Australia. The Pirrinuan Plain and the neighbouring Jimbour Plain have the deepest top soil in the southern hemisphere...so very fertile fround. The soil is black and when it is wet it is thick and sticky. When it is dry it cracks open making children think the other side of the world will burst through.

I grew up watching the sky. My grandfather farmed the land for 40 years before my father took over in the mid 1960s. My grandfather never missed a crop, but just after my Dad started farming on his own crops were missed because the rain became less predictible. If it wasn't raining there were the increasing violent storms with hail and floods. I remember one whole side of the farm was gauged away by floodwaters ripping through from the Bunya Mountains. This gully became unuseable.

So...after marrying I moved to Goondiwindi where my husband [now ex] has a country law practice. Whilst we were not on the land we certainly were affected by the vagaries of nature. The population of Goondiwindi was around the 5,000 with another 5000 people living in the surrounding farming areas [ie: up to an hour or more drive from town] Cotton, wheat and other grains, cattle, wool, sheep, pigs offered a diversification of rural production in the Goondiwindi district.

But, over the 18 years I lived in Goondiwindi it was the change in how we thought about water which interested me. When I moved there in 1982 the climate was hot and dry and a farmer could apply for a water license for a nominal fee. Within a few years the Water Resources government department restricted licences. This made the licenses valuable and tradeable. A license allows a farmer to pump a certain amount of mega litres of water from the river system as long as the river water level is not below a certain height.

Farmers [particularly cotton farmers] built massive dams...these are so big you can sail on them...to store water which they use during drought or water restricted times to irrigate their cotton crops. When the river systems flood farmers can 'harvest' water once the river level exceeds a certain height. The idea of 'harvesting' water seemed really odd to me when I first heard it.

But what is also interesting is the idea of 'water law'. So, licenses can be traded, transferred from one farm to another etc. Thus we have contracts for sale of entities to deliver water...and the various other legal issues are nuanced and endless and include many aspects of law [litigation, contract, banking, leasing etc] Now, there are also tradeable commodities which group water infrastructure and so on.

When I left Goondiwindi in 2000 the climate had been hot and humid for years. The change from hot and dry to hot and humid could only be because of the huge amount of extra water stored in dams and the evaporation of irrigated water . Interestingly, a friend of mine who has lived in Dubai for many many years has noticed the climate and temperature change there since Dubai authorities have 'greened' up the city. They use desalinated water in abundance.

This is my story. But, on the world stage water is a serious issue. Underground aquifers are depleted [causing soil spoiling salination], melting glaciers cause erosion and spill compromised water into rivers and oceans, developing countries have increased water needs, food production and crops for bio-fuel are thirsty. Yet, useful fresh water is not a renewable resource [it is less than 2% of the world’s supply].

Over the last few years my paintings have been explorations of life on our shared planet using the viscerality and power of the trans-cultural/religious tree-of-life as my guiding motif. My interest in water is part of this broad interest. Water, earth’s life force and blood is something all people must be aware of and look after. I think, maybe the shared concern will assist is drawing people together in a common goal. After all aren't we 70% water too!

Cheers,
Kathryn

OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!

A general article on my general thoughts on Plagiarism on blogs

I wonder how you all will react if tomorrow you find out that a lot of my blog entries were plagiarised?

Copied wholesale from other sources. Other people's jokes, opinions, information etc... all passed off as if they were my own ideas?

Personally I think that the lowest a blogger can hit. A blog is meant to be an outlet for your thoughts and opinions - so if you have none, why bother to have a blog at all?

Why would anyone's blog be sewn together by bits and pieces of other people's ideas? That's just unfathomable to me.

Excuses people commonly give:

"I don't know how to write so I have to copy" - Better write shittily, or don't write at all; rather than copy.

"It's a personal blog" - Blogs are never personal, even the locked ones. Besides, as my current saga has taught me, it is NOT ok to anyhow write whatever I want on my "personal blog", right?

"I didn't know I had to cite" - Sorry, but ignorance is not an excuse. I doubt anyone older than a Primary Schooler would not know that copying is wrong.



I remember back in school, whenever someone gets caught for plagiarising, it is an immediate fail grade. Not only that, the plagiariser will be announced to the class to be shamed.

Passing off someone's else hard work as your own. Disgusting.


When applied to blogs, is just as grave an offence?

Or is it not that big a deal, because words in a blog are not used for academia measurements, therefore are not so important?

In this technological era, it is so easy to copy. Just a click of your mouse to select your favourite line, and a ctrl C and crtl V. Voila! You can sound as intellectual as you please.

I think it's an even bigger deal. Why? Because blogs are meant to be a platform for your opinions, and plagiarism just goes ahead to give this spirit a sharp slap on the face. Blogs are meant to be for you to express yourself... not pretend to be somebody else.

So in a sense, plagiarism on blogs stands for much more than that on acadamic papers.

On an exam answer sheet, plagiarism is done for an A.

On a blog... Why? It feels like something way more sinister.


By letting plagiarizers get away scot-free, we are endorsing the act of plagiarism.

Imagine you scored 80% in a test because you studied hard and wrote well. Tommy, your classmate, scored 80% because he cheated and copied.

Your teacher knows about this, and yet, Tommy still gets his 80% grade, although everyone knows he is a cheater.

Is this fair? Should Tommy get expelled and shamed?

In your opinion, what should be done?

WHY would bloggers plagiarise?

I can understand if you are lifting off paragraphs full of information, ie if you wanted to describe a movie, and you copy the movie's synopsis from somewhere.

What I cannot understand or tolerate is the lifting of other people's opinions, for example, copying someone else's movie reviews.

When someone reviews a movie it is his/her own opinions! How can you just copy the entire chunk and call it your own? Underhanded, lowly, and worst of all, EMBARRASSING when found out.

Do plagiarisers not have opinions of their own? Or maybe they are so incoherent they cannot piece their own opinions together into a decent blog entry?

A blogger IS his content. Without my words and my photos, I will be nothing. Who ARE plagiarisers then? Is he/she still considered a blogger if it has been proven time and again that his/her image and opinions are both dishonest and copied? What is this Frankenstein of a blogger considered?


I cannot emphasize how much I detest copiers and plagiarisers. As a writer (yes, I am a script-writer and I wrote for several columns before), it is an unforgivable offence in my book, and I hope to see justice served to such offenders all over the world.


Plagiarism is serious and should NOT be downplayed.


Remember: Plagiarism is tantamount to stealing.

Stealing an idea; it's the same as stealing a wallet.

It doesn't matter if you plagiarized only once, it is still wrong.

But in my opinion, people who resort to plagiarism are people who disrespect originality. People like that rarely resort to copying/cheating only once. It was probably done HUNDREDS of times already before it was finally discovered.



p/s: This article is not referring to anyone in particular, just felt the urge to blog about plagiarism suddenly, dunno why.

I am trying to change for the better by making my blog full of kindness, respect, charity, love and pancakes.

So I urge no personal attacks on anyone. If you wish to do personal attacks, please kindly make it anonymous by using the name, erm, "Monkey".

For example, you can write something like, "Monkey plagiarised more than 50 blog entries and he/she is so shameless can?!"

If your Monkey works under someone, the company can be called "The Zoo". So for example, if you are pissed off about your classmate Lilian copying work, and you're studying in RGS, you can write,

"This Monkey in my class plagiarized! The stupid ZOO still allowed her to get full marks! I am so angry!" --> Like that la.

I would of course have no idea who you are talking about, but it's ok, it's your comment and not mine.

Any mention of any names in the entry will be deleted.


p/p/s: I just want to thank my law firm Keystone Law Corp for their excellent job so far. I don't know how I would have gone through this without you guys, and couldn't have asked for better lawyers. (This is not written in exchange for a lower rate or anything btw.)

BOOK REVIEW

I recently wrote a review of an autobiography by Irena Sibley, 'Self Portrait of the Artist's Wife'. The review has been published in the Australian Women's Book Review. They have also placed one of my paintings on the cover. Here is the link:

http://www.emsah.uq.edu.au/awsr/recent/index.html

Vastness Gouache on Paper 30 x 21 cm 2008

Thanks for the many supportive emails!

So many of you emailed me! Very touched. And to the person who donated USD$100... Thanks!

As you've maybe seen on Straits Times, I am NOT going to apologize to Dawn.

As I said, if she wishes to embarrass herself she can go ahead and sue me. Those who live in glass houses should not be throwing rocks.

Got something to clarify though. I know many of you have asked me for my bank acct no or my paypal email, but there is still no need to donate anything right now. I can still afford it as of now... not THAT poor la!!

Hahaha!! If she decides to go ahead with the lawsuit I'll inform you guys. :D

Something's wrong with me lor... I keep waking up damn early and sleeping damn early recently.

But I am happy! Tomorrow going to 98.7FM for radio interview with Rozz and Shan at 5pm... Maybe another radio interview with 91.3FM and Power 98. Those still tentative.

I also finally watched BATMAN!! Is the joker funny or WHAT?? It saddens me to think that Heath Leger (did I spell correctly ah?) will never be able to act in that role again... Maybe they should get T-bag (Theodore Bagwell) from Prison Break?

I think Heath's perverse lip-licking is inspired from T-bag lor! But dead, cannot confirm with him.

(SPOILERS)

Omg... I think batman doesn't want to kill him coz he also secretly thinks the joker is damn funny.

My favourite part was when the Joker was in the truck's passenger seat, and his driver got shot dead. He scooted to the driver seat, pushed the corspe aside, and politely told the corspe, "Sorry, got to drive..." and then kicked the corspe out of the truck.

AHAHAHAHAHHA!! I laughed DAMN HARD CAN!! It's just really funny! But to my horror, the entire theatre of people didn't laugh at all... Not funny meh? I think it's very funny leh! At this rate, my movie script will be a total flop lor!!

Oh sorry actually my favourite part is Joker dressing up as a NURSE!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!! GINGER WIG!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHA!!!

He very irritating lor keep telling people about his scar stories! Like those pesky evangelists!!

Then people not interested to listen he threaten people with his knife! Where got like that one?

(END SPOILERS)

Ok la I am off to play Mario VS Luigi before I sleepytime. It's 10pm lor! Gross. Zzzzzzz

(Comments regarding lawsuit is disallowed)

Lawyer's letter

Since I've been accused that this is a publicity stunt, and also, since some of you have requested to see it, here is Dawn's lawyer's letter to me.










Comments are not allowed. If you wish to tell me anything, please email me instead. xiaxue@gmail.com

Loves~! Thanks for the support, guys.

UPDATE: Shuyin just told me this entry LOOKS as if I am apologizing. I am not. I am merely showing you the contents of her letter, which includes her desired template for my apology. I repeat. This letter does not in any way represent my decision whether or not to comply to its contents.

UPDATE 2: I have blurred out the contacts on the lawyer representing her out of professional courtesy.

I am ok!

Boohoo! Poor me being threatened with a lawyer's letter!

Yes yes, I know my pre-surgery nose is on the cover page of Straits Times!!

Gross! They asked me for a photoshoot but I was too tired yesterday so I declined. Oh well!! Totally regret it now!

Anyway, I'm gonna go see my lawyer on Monday to discuss the case. We'll see what happens from there then.

Gross, ST! Props for the neutral POV (I thought they would be biased coz someone's from Stomp) but boo on the "reigning queens"!!!

This whole thing started with me saying I don't want to be compared with her, and it ends with me still being compared to her!! Nabehness.

And no, I DO NOT NEED EXTRA HITS. It was maintaining at a steady 20,000 before... Even if it is 50,000 now, the ad prices are still the same! I can definitely report I am not earning any more than usual.

Thanks to the people who offered to donate money to help my cause. It is very touching!! Especially to those who offered hundreds... My most generous donor offered $2k!! Mad not!!

Comments allowed but heavily moderated as it may affect the lawsuit. You can leave comments pledging your support or your donation and the amount though!! That would be nice!! :D

PERSPECTIVE-Distance

In my last BLOG I wrote about the invitation to be the guest speaker at the University of Queensland's
graduation ceremony for the Faculties of Arts, and Behavioural and Social Sciences. Well, it happened on Wednesday night and I am very happy with how it went. I was very honoured to have been asked and tried to give a speech which reflected my passion as an artist, but also giving a glimpse into how my art practice feeds my intellectual interests, and conversely how my intellectual interests and academic studies inform my art. I chose to speak about one artist's tool, and that is perspective. What I like about perspective is that it can also be a metaphor for how we view ourselves and others, and in this sense can be spatial and temporal with each kind of distance being close or far.

 

I went into a very brief timeline of the history of perspective ie: as a tool to give a 3 d impression on a 2d surface. What interests me is that the history of perspective reflects the growing understanding science and exploration gave of mankind's place on earth. I believe art, and its history, reflects this at the same time, but not as obviously so, being an affective agent albeit not always or necessarily a deliberate one.

 

I also believe that conversation triggered by art can stimulate people to open up to each other sharing dreams, hopes, fears and despair. I certainly experienced this when I exhibited at the Abu Dhabi Cultural Foundation in 2005. I have previously written about these wonderful experiences talking with people who came to see my show. I realised that the agendaless, but not directionless, quality of these conversations enabled me and my viewers to see each other from different perspectives, opening up a space of shared compassion and hope, plus a realisation that we were more fundamentally similar than different. This agendaless, but not directionless quality of conversation triggered by art, I believe may just hold clues to new ways of communication ....and possibly new pathways to peace on earth.

 

In my speech I talked about academic study and degrees being one aspect of a person's personal perspective tool kit. I suggested that imagination, inspiration, flexibiity, judgement and experience enable a person to create both literal and metaphoric perspective, and that coupling these attributes with the skills gained in academic study, they give a person a powerful tool to view themselves and others... with hopefully recognising the compassionate qualities or potential of such an ability.

 

I made reference to the fact that artists once they have learnt rules of any kind, enjoy breaking or manipulating them. When an artist discards the rules of perspective they basically rely on their eye. As Vasari wrote of Michelangelo, 'He held his compass, that is his judgement, in his eyes not his hands'. I suggested that an artist's process is one of continual critical assessment and imagination. From the very first issue, which is the blank canvas, an artist's mind is working. However, a canvas is never blank because, in my case anyway, my imagination paints many images on its surface well before I decide how to make the first mark. Once this mark is made it is a dance of critical assessment, chance, controlled accidents, obsessional detail and constant questioning and problem solving.

 

But, I suggested that the artist's eye is not just the eye of eye ball and pupil, but the mind's eye too. So, when I or any artist, move back and forth from our work examining it at close and far distance we are making decisions based on what our seeing eye thinks looks good, and what our mind's eye wants to achieve in terms of meaning, message, essence and/or aura.

So, like an artist imagining before they make that first mark, we all have dreams about how our lives might be, but it is action which makes that first mark. Be like an artist and keep your eye on the immediate surrounds and seeable horizon, but your mind's eye beyond the horizon [remembering it may not necessarily be in front of you!]. This comment in brackets referred to my description of my own work where I play with perspective so that a viewer may feel as if they are at many points of view at the one time eg: in front , behind, inside, above and below etc.

So, that's a brief outline of my talk. The painting above plays with perspective because it could appear to be an aerial view at the same time as being inside, or in front of a landscape with hills and sky. It is not until you get close to this painting that the viewer realises it is created with thousands of $ signs. From a distance this is not evident. I will talk more about this work in a future post.

Earth For Sale 120 x 160 cm oil on linen

New vid updates!!

XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

I give famous and non-famous hawker food taste tests to see if there is a difference! See, I'm so kind... Now you will know if it's worth it to wait 45 mins for your hokkien mee.

CRACK COMEDY



Think your job interview was tough? Wait till you check this out!


CHICK VS DICK

Woo this ep of C vs D is my favourite ever!! Paul and KK try to style each other and it's hilarious!! (Btw the concept also suggest by me hor... I am awesome)

That's all for now!!

20 Of My Bestest Purchases!!!

Thanks for the comments. Some may not have been published but rest assured I read them all!

So far, no lawyer's letter from beautiful Dawn, although she did delete the line on her blog that says she accepts my apology. Oh well!

She also added that I upped her hits to 30,000 (I upped mine too! Now 50,000! Who want to advertise??).

Since bloggers earn money based on hits, I guess I didn't cause her any losses but instead gave her some gains then, huh?? So what's there to sue about? LOL!! She ought to be thanking me, really!! -insert xanga heart smiley-

Oh dear Dawn Wayang is down! Wonder why? Anyway, the new site seems to be up here. I do not endorse anything that's written inside, as they are all lies, it seems to me. Lies! Why do you slander Dawn so, Mr Wayang?? You must be just jealous!

Here's a blog entry I wrote halfway a million years ago, to applease you all.

*****************

Sometimes, you buy some non-descript stuff and it turns out to be so absolutely fantastic and so wu chao suo zhi (value for money) that you just wanna rave about it and tell the whole world!!

And these, my lovely blog readers, are the top 20 products!!

Of course, there are the very chio stuff too like $10 dresses and all my Juicy products, but these are products that are useful to everyone! By everyone I mean everyone who has a use for them la. Mostly females. Hahaha!

1) Electric bug-zapper thingy

What it is: Metal wires have an electrical current running through them after you turn the apparatus on. Holding the handle, smack or swipe the air where the insect you wish to kill is.


Have you ever seen a mosquito that bit you, and as you try to smack it, it flies away, ESCAPING THE HORRIBLE DEATH IT DESERVES???

With the Electronic Bug Zapper Racket, that incident happening to you just reduced like 100%.

This is what happened to me:

- Mozzie bit me.

- I saw it land on the side of my couch.

- Couch is soft and white.

- If I attempt to smack Mozzie it won't die (due to soft surface) and even if it does, couch gets stained.

- Take bug zapper.

- MOZZIE DIES.

The fun doesn't stop with the sadistic pleasure that's associated with bug-killing.

Oh no of course not!

Not only does the mosquito get electrocuted as it flies unwittingly through the racket, it EXPLODES WITH A LOUD POP AND EMITS A BRIGHT BLUE SPARK!!

It's almost like insect fireworks, except much better.

The dead mozzie then floats to the floor, where you can pick it up with a tissue and at the same time, squash it to see how much blood it drew from you.

Loudly, you can ask the mosquito, "IS IT WORTH IT TO DIE LIKE THIS FOR THIS MEASLY AMOUNT OF MY BLOOD, HUH, HUH?!?!?!"

Rhetorical, of course. The mosquito is dead and cannot answer.

I bought this racket since around 1 year ago, and the amount of insects it had helped me kill probably consisted of 10% of the insects in the world.

It also works on:

- Cockroaches (yes it does! Mike killed a baby one just a few weeks ago. As for the adult ones, the racket burns it feelers so it gets disoriented, then you can go ahead and smack it with newspaper.)

- Golden beetles

- Moths (killed after like 7 sparks, one with each of its feeble attempts to escape, until it decides death is better)

- Baby lizards (never tried on bigger ones)

- Flies

- Flying ants

- Humans you don't like

Hiyah it can be used on ANYTHING LAH! And the best part is, the racket doesn't seem to get dirty! I thought with each kill the racket is going to get steadily more and more disgusting, but it seems to look just as pristine as the blessed day I bought it.

Available at: Mustafa and other neighbourhoodish household stores. I even saw pink ones can!? Requires D-sized batteries but can be used for a long time unless you stay at some insect-infested place. $3 or something cheap like that.

2) Guardian Extra-Large Cotton Tips


On the shelf, hidden innocently among it's inferior friends


A comparison to normal-sized Q-tips

What it is: Extra-large wad of cotton on top of a plastic stick. Feel free to use it to dig anything.

I don't know who set the standard size for cotton buds, but it is too fucking small!! Cmon, whose ear crevice is that tiny?

Guardian decided it's time for a revolution!!

When I first saw the XL cotton buds, I wanted to get it coz I use cotton buds to clean my nostrils (since, fragile from the nose job I can't dig them) and the normal buds are simply too small and flimsy!

Then, I put another one into my ear to try.

3 secs later I shouted at Mike, "BABY YOU HAVE TO TRY USING THIS!!!"

It was really fun to watch coz he was groaning and making shiok faces, hahaha!

We never looked back since and now, we scoff at normal-sized cotton buds.

You know what they say... "Once you go black you can't go back"! Same theory.

Available at: Guardian of course. $1.95

3) Illegal extension cord

What it is: A pink and chio extension cord

I bought this at some random neighbourhood appliance shop, so I don't know where you can get it, but it's only 5 bucks!!

And it's transparent pink, and and... it can plug in any sort of plug, including the US ones!!

NO MORE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THE STUPID 2-PIN PLUGS.

However, I've heard horror stories about the illegal cords exploding and burning down houses before... It seems to work fine for me leh! And it's pink so it's matchy matchy my room! :D

Available at: I really don't know where you can find it, but I bought it along Bedok reservior road.

4) Earring/assorted rubbish holder


Hanging on my wardrobe door

What it is: A little flat baggie with a multitude of transparent compartments that can be used to put whatever you like.

After years and years of searching, I've found the best storage solution for earrings!!

Before this, I put my earrings on those metal rolley things, like this:

Unfortunately, the problem with those things is that it uses to much space to be put into cupboards, and if you leave it on a table it will get very dusty and dirty.

Worst of all, the earrings after a while start to rot because of the humidity in the air!!

Tadah!! Solution!! This way it won't take up much space at all, and you can see all the earrings at one go without having to spin!!

Wait till you hear the price.

Available at: DAISO outlets!! $2 of course!! CHEAP CHEAP!!

5) Bioessense face-lifting cream

What it is: Amazing moisturizer that can make your face slim down.

I don't know if it works for everyone, but this magical cream has a measuring tape inside it to guarantee that your face will lose at least 1 cm after usage!! Amazing not!!

Qihua swears by it.

Only problem is that it is a tad oily. I only use it on the sides of my face when I feel extra fat.

Available at: City Plaza's those rubbish perfume stores you know? $28. At Watsons or Guardian also have... $40 there!

6) Nintendo DS Lite

What it is: Portable game console

Best purchase EVER!!!

So far not a day of my life has been bored since I have my DS Lite to accompany me through queue-waiting, shitting-time, etc!!

I've introduced... 8 people to buy the DS, and everyone loves it!!! (NINTENDO PLEASE REWARD ME DUH!!!)

Besides awesome games like Super Mario/Phoenix Wright (playing Apollo Justice now, for those of you who know. It's awesome!! thanks Timmy!!)/bomberman/Mario kart etc etc etc, the DS can also be used to play songs and videos!

Is it more fun than the PSP? Yes, I'd definitely say so, and everyone who owns both consoles all agree with me.

Comes in a variety of fun colours so there is one for everyone!!

Baby pink (mine, but without crystals of course)
Baby blue
White
Black
Red and Black
Silver
Metallic Rose (like reddish brown colour)
Navy Blue
Yellow (limited edition only avail in Japan's Pokemon centers)

I LOVE MY DS SO MUCH! I never ever leave the house without it.

Available at: Sim Lim, or other electronic stores. Around $310 for everything included - $210 for empty set without R4 card or memory card.

7) Sofy Double Fresh Pantyliner

(Boys please skip to 8, oh wait that's a hair curler...)

What it is: Double layer panty liner!! Rhymes too!

I don't know about girls who don't use panty liners, but girls who do, swear by them. I'm one of them!

What we hate though, is when you had a long day, and you wanna have a change of liners, but didn't bring any.

A genius at Sofy then thought, "Well, since pantyliners are so goddamn cheap, why not stick two layers as one?"

It is an amazing idea!!!

Now, if you feel like the first layer is dirty, just peel it off, and there you go... second layer spanking clean!!

Not only that... if you get your period on the first layer... Don't fret; just peel!

If you go into a coffee shop toilet and there is no toilet paper?

At the very least you have always your top layer of liner to wipe on. :) (OEI! Stop judging me! Better than don't wipe right?!?!?)

Available at: Guardian/Watsons. $3 like that for 52 pieces.

8) Braun hair curler

What it is: A portable hair curler, for curling on-the-go.

Does your curled hair always go limp in the middle of the day? Or are you always late because you are curling your hair before leaving the house?

Now you don't have to be!! Hair curling can now be done on the taxi (or on the MRT/bus if you are more buay paiseh) to save you precious make-up time!

Not only that, if preverts try to molest you you can stuff this hot tong up their asshole!!

Or... You can meet your date on time, then quickly disappear into the toilet for 15 mins and come back out with amazing hair. Isn't it so awesome?!

Comes with safety lid, so after using you can put it straight back into your bag.

Now Braun came up with a straightening iron that's portable too!! I love them all!

Available at: I bought mine at Mustafa. $89 or something...

9) Sally Hansen Hard As Wraps nail polish

What it is: Extra hard nail polish from Sally Hansen

There is no arguing what the best nail polish is. OPI, of course! But OPI only gives very vivid, long-lasting colours... not sure about the strength.

Sally Hansen's HARD AS WRAPS nail polish is damn amazing though!! It is ALMOST like acrylic nails... it is so goddamn hard!!

Nail breakages no more!

Expensive though, but still much cheaper than acrylic.

Available at: Guardian? Watsons? Everywhere also have la... $17 I think.

10) Banana Boat tanning oil in SPF 4

What it is: Your secret to an awesome tan

It's an open secret. Have you been to the beach/pool and seen loads of tanned, golden bodies lazing around?

Beside them is always this little bottle of tanning elixir.

How do I get my tan? Banana boat la!

My favourite activity is to go to my condo's pool with girlfriends (or gay friends) and laze around.

Armed with...

11) Creative Zen Stone Plus

Another good product! Despite the dumb name, this is a totally awesome MP3 player! $99 only!

Pictured here with my $75 Sennheiser baby pink ear phones (zhng-ed with diamantes) which are also super awesome and totally worth its price.

The best thing about it is that it has a really good speaker for such a tiny player. I love to put the speaker to max volume and listen to disgusting Chinese pop songs. I don't care if other pool dwellers (usually none as people got to work) don't like it. They can buy their own Stone Plus if they want!!

Anyway, I don't use earphones at the pool because my hands are all oily!

Batteries last for around 4 hours playing on the speaker, no problem.

Better than iPod coz I don't need to use bloody iTunes to upload songs! (Drag and drop)

So anyway, as I was saying about my favourite activity...

I like to laze beside the pool, half submerged in water, listening to music, and gossiping with girlfriends/Mike.

The sun will be a-shining and I will become steadily more golden... then beside me... a bowl of Nissin XO seafood cup noodles bought and cooked from my condo's convenience store, and a bottle of ice-cold Vanilla coke.

ULTIMATE BLISS MAN!!

Back to banana boat.

Comes in varying tanning n00bness starting from SPF 8 (if I am not wrong.. green cap) to SPF 4, to SPF 0 (red cap) for hardcore tanner!

SPF 0 tends to give me sunburn, so I usually stick to 4, unless T-I-N-S. (Tanning lingo: There Is No Sun)

Is it possible to tan without the oil? No... not for me anyway. I just turn lobster red and peel afterwards. But not with the oil. Turn golden!

Here's a little trick. Instead of spraying onto your body, which in my opinion wastes a lot of the oil, spray into your palms and rub it onto your skin. Remember to reapply every half hour!

Available at: Watsons and Guardian. $11.

12) Nail polish remover bottle

What it is: Bottle for nail polish remover

Self-explanatory. Press down and remover comes up.

Hate that whole process where I open and close the cap of the polish remover while removing nail polish, then finally, spill the whole bottle. Don't laugh! Happened many times! Very smelly and melts plastic lor!!

Available at: Sasa. Around $3??

13) Applicators

What it is: How applicators should all be

Finally! Someone realised that applicators without caps are staining things left right center!

Now you don't have to find a particular applicator for a particular colour. All on one jolly good stick.

Available at: Sasa again. I think its $3.80.

14) Energizer book light

What it is: A portable book light

Got a sleeping someone beside you but you want a book to read before going to bed?

This is perfect!

Also good for scaring your partner by shining under your face, if you want.

Batteries lasted me for half a year and still going strong.

Available at: Giant/Carrefour. $13+ if I'm not wrong.

15) Panasonic Epilator

What it is: A portable epilator! God bless engineers!

Finally! The day has arrived! Epilators are really a god-sent.

For those of you who don't know - epilators pluck out hairs, except it's a many at a time. A spinning mechanism kiaps the hairs as you roll the epilator across your skin. Voila! Hairless armpits! In 2 mins or less!

It sounds painful, but imho, better than plucking right?

What's even better than corded epilators? Cordless ones!

Available at: I don't know. Courts? I forgot the price but it's like $60. Awesome for travelling.

16) Daiso blushers

What it is: Cheapest blushers ever

$2 blushers. Colours look awful here but look good when applied (not heavily la of course).

Light pink on the apples of the cheek, and the dark ones to accentuate cheekbones. I love them!!

Available at: Daiso la! $2 each!

17) Sally Hansen Creme Hair Bleach

What it is: Your solution to an ungainly moustache.

Black eyebrows look DISGUSTING when you have dyed brown/blonde hair.

So dye your brows too!

Why pay so much to dye your brows at Browhaus (whatever that place is called) when you can DIY at home?

Just bleach them until they turn the colour of your hair (range from dark brown to blonde la... obviously not colours like purple/red), and wash off!

Excess can be used to also bleach your moustache, arm hairs, pubes etc if you want. Hahaha!

Available at: Mustafa. $13 or something. Can be used many times, unless you have an extremely thick unibrow...

18) Daiso wire binds

What it is: Binds up ugly wires!

Remember that incident where a dead lizard was trapped in the midst of my computer wires and was radiating the worst smell ever??

From then on I had enough of long wires/cords!! Why the hell do they always have to be so bloody LONG anyway?

Bind up everything with these cute colourful binds, and everything will be much neater and of course, not tangled!

Available at: Daiso. $2! That place is awesome.

19) Set of Harry Potter books

What it is: Best books ever

Ok, I just had to add these in. I love my Harry Potter books and have read each one at least 10 times already. I now read from 1-7, stop for a few weeks, then start from 1 again. It never gets boring!

Everyone should own a set!

Available at: All reputable book stores. Price? You can put a price to the joy Harry Potter books can bring you.

Lastly...

20) OSIM uVibe

What it is: An extra-strong neck massager

I'll let the website explain:





Ahem! It can be used in the following places...



I personally like using it on my sole. Hahaha!!

I'm not sure if this is still available. The last time I checked, back in January mind you (my gf wanted one), the uVibe was sold out throughout Singapore! I didn't know quite so many people had sore necks like me.

Available at: Osim stores. Don't buy from Mustafa as it is $89 there. Normal Osim stores only $69, or something like that.

That's it! Have fun shopping!



p/s: Yesterday I got my third XIAO SAN YUAN!! It was the shiokest game every lor!! First I got 2 of my own flowers.. MONEY!

Then got 1 more animal...

Then I GANG a 7 tong after ponging... MONEY!

Then I pong a hong zhong...

Then I self-GANG a fa cai! MONEY~!!

After I gang the fa cai, I got left 4 cards inside...

1 Bai ban, 2 Yi Tong, and 1 Er Tong

THEN I DREW ANOTHER BAI BAN!! Of course I throw the er tong right?

So wait Bai ban and Yi tong la!!

Then Chups (the guy I was playing with) throw the yi tong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay!!

Major win a lot of money!!

and let me count... 3 flowers, pong pong, half colour, xiao san yuan... 10 doubles is it??

I know. SOOoooo not interesting for non-mj-ers. Whatever!!! Makes me happy to read it!

VASTNESS

Well, the week has been busy with various disparate activities. Next week will also be busy, but I will have time to paint. However, on Wednesday I have both an exciting and challenging experience. That is....I am the guest speaker at the University of Queensland's graduation ceremony for the faculties of Arts, and Behavioural and Social Science. I will be speaking for 5-8 minutes. So, I have written a speech which I will not read, but will refer to as I go along. I have chosen to speak about perspective...both literally and metaphorically. I will say not more now, but will elaborate after Wednesday.

I am honoured to be asked to make this speech. My family does have a history at UQ. Some families have multiple lawyers or doctors, but my family has a diverse mix of courses and experiences. My mother has 3 degrees from UQ including a Masters by Research in Education. She completed this as an external student when I was in my late teens. It was a huge amount of work, and before computers, so the floor in the spare room was covered in piles of papers and notes. My Mother did 2 of her degrees externally because we lived on a farm. I look back at her efforts and they were mighty!

My brother has 1 1/2 degrees and is now one of the Assistant Directors of IT at UQ. My 2 paternal Aunts studied at UQ in the 1940/50s. One aunt completed a Commerce Degree and the other aunt was UQ's first female graduate from Agricultural Science. Her husband is also a graduate of Agricultural Science, having completed post-graduate study. He started at UQ as a returned soldier with my Aunt being one of his lecturers. Interestingly, my Aunt also taught my former parents-in-law when they entered study after World War II.

One of my aunt and uncle's sons completed a PhD in Ionospheric Physics in the mid 1980s and won a scholarship to the prestigious Max Planck Institute in Germany. However, sadly he died on an expedition climbing Mt Everest. With only about 30 m to go to reach the summit he and the other climbers had to turn back due to the blizzard conditions. They were also climbing without oxygen. On his descent my cousin slipped and fell backwards into a major ravine and has never been found. A young doctor from Melbourne also slipped on the same spot.

And to something happier. My daughter will start at UQ next year. So, in a few years time I will be seated in the audience at the Faculty of Arts graduation feeling very proud I am sure.

Seeing Into The Vastness Gouache on paper 40 x 50 cm framed 2008