THANK GOODNESS

I cannot believe I last posted on the 18th July. It only seems like yesterday. My middle daughter has had her birthday and last weekend we had the 'joy' of six 13-14 year old girls sleep over. They watched videos for hours, ate rubbish and then slept...for a few hours.

I am busy working towards my next show at Doggett Street Gallery opening October 12. The exhibition is called 'Prayers For The Planet: We are all the same.' The painting above will be in the exhibition. It is called 'Thank Goodness'. It is a large painting 92 x 107 cm. I wanted to weave the tree of life into the strata of the earth. I also wanted the feel of rain and the appearance of this rain penetrating the strata. I wanted the sense of looking beyond the surface.

How many times do we exclaim 'Thank Goodness!'... or 'Thank God!'? If you think about it these exclamations are really about gratitude, relief, love, hope. I've noticed when I say/exclaim them and then stop to think about what I really mean, my feelings normally reveal complete relief, hope and an almost exasperated 'it's about time!' However, when I have stopped and thought I try to elliminate the exasperation and focus on being truly thankful.

When rain falls from the sky during drought times people exclaim 'Thank God!' or 'Thank goodness it's raining!' I've lived in rural Queensland for most of my life and I have heard these exclamations many times from friends, my Father, myself! I now live in Brisbane which is suffering from severe lack of water due to drought. When it does rain I hear the same things.
These exclamations are normally said with emphasis and emotion. They are really prayers of thanks, prayers for the planet...as well as being heartfelt exclamations of relief.

My painting above is about rain, thankfullness and looking beyond the surface of things, words, actions and life.

Moving in 3 days

Busy busy!

With shopping and scriptwriting that is!

I just spent $325 yesterday in Ikea (the annual sale like lousy one leh...) buying 1 pink computer desk, 1 pink chest of 3 drawers, and a pink computer swivel chair --- ALL NEW IKEA PRODUCTS WITH AN AWESOME SHADE OF BABY PINK!!!

Can't find a photo of the computer table

YOU GIRLS MUST ALL GO AND BUY THEM TOO SO THAT IKEA BRINGS IN MORE PINK FURNITURE!

So exciting, we are moving into the new condo on the 1st, which is only 2 days more!!!

I can't wait!! I have been shopping around on ebay, and I found this pink microwave, pots and pans, toasters and whatever not... and they are all so cute!

Unfortunately Mike has forbidden me to turn his supposedly manly bachelor's pad into a pink fluffly place, so well... All pink products must be "quarantined" in my princess room.

Sian... Maybe one day he will get colourblind and see all pink things as blue? My only hope. Does stabbing the eyeballs work? He's sleeping now, I could just...

SO ANYWAY.

Yesterday after Ikea we also went to Courts, and Courts is so absurd!

First we saw a mattress that we really liked (its $1390) and we asked the young sales guy if for that price it is selling just that mattress (it was sitting on a white leather bedframe selling for, like $800 or something).

He said yes.

Soon after, an old Indian couple came and they enquired about the mattress, and in a rather haughty way asked (as if taken for granted) if the bedframe would be given free to them.

The young salesman said "No" and the Indian couple walked away.

While Mike and I were still sitting on the mattress and discussing about it, the salesman's friend came along, and our salesman begin to talk to his colleague about the Indian couple, insulting them (in chinese) and saying how ridiculous they are to expect the bed frame to be given free.

Mike and I walked around for a bit after this, deciding if we should get the mattress that day or not, and when we decided to do just that, we met another sales lady whom we finally sealed the deal with.

We asked the same question as before, because we needed a divan and if a divan is going to be sold at a discounted price together with the mattress we would buy it.

The saleslady walked away to check, and when she came back, she was all bouncy and told us with glee that they are going to throw in the bedframe for us for free!! A NEW SET! With divan, stumpy metal legs, leather backing (although it's quite ugly, but it's removable) and everything!

SIAO OR NOT YOU TELL ME?

I'm not complaining, but they are so disorganised la, the salespeople like all don't know their stuff, and what, if we didn't check, they are not going to give us the bedframe lah!

And the poor Indian couple got scolded and everything!

And if they are giving away something that's $800 for free, shouldn't they put it on the sign so that people would be tempted to buy the mattress? Can boh dai boh chi like that give away bedframe one meh??

Courts is so weird.

Sorry, I'm very auntie. Sigh.


In other news...


Gillian was asking me to try writing some scripts for her, and so I did!! It's so weird to be suddenly behind the scenes and hearing people act out what you wrote. Kinda fun, but I don't know if I can say more, so yeah.

I'm kinda sick of the whole Disgusting Bloggers saga.

Apparently, Wanbao and Straits Times both reported it somewhat, but I didn't see anything!

It's a little overdue, but few days ago I saw these two parody videos and almost died laughing.



Done by the very talented Jayden, who even bothered to cut and include small snippets of me. But no thanks for my signature "Bah!" - that was like 3 years ago when I was superbly fat!



Second one by none other than Kenny Sia.

Hilarious!

What's Steven Lim saying at the 21 second mark?

That's all!

Pictures soon. I've kinda lost the interest for photography and just stopped taking photos. Very very bad!

p/s: Please don't write more comments on the LZB blog post. I am sick of all the stupid comments so I'm just deleting everything.

Pissing me off

POST WITHDRAWN

A friend of mine told me that he speculates (with a certain amount of certainty), that LZB's blog is set up by Jack Neo's company as a publicity stunt.

(which would explain why someone bothered to take so many photos of her)

Of course, this is just speculation - believe it or not, up to you, but until I see a video of LZB actually blogging I won't believe it.

So anyway, I've taken away my previous post, because I personally feel that the undeserving scheming commercialised bastards don't need any more publicity.

Plus, it is not being fair to the old lady if she didn't actually write all that.

Poor old lady, used as a pawn. (If this is true, which I believe it to be.)

Road Trip: Episode 7 - The Night Market

Go watch it now!

Me and the Deathly Hallows

OMG MY LIFE AS IT IS IS ABOUT TO BE OVER!!!

I'm currently around half into the last and final book of the most awesomest written thingys ever (I'm incoherent coz I am so flummoxed by intriguing bits of the book, so don't correct my English for a bit).

I got my last book yesterday from Times in Tampines Mall, and when I got it, I didn't even look at the price (but instead went to kiss JK Rowling's face on the back page of the book).

Honestly, if I were to consider it, I think the maximum amount of money I'd fork out to pay for her book would be, like... $500. Anything more and I'd use means of theft or piracy, but man, that's how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE HARRY POTTER!!!

And I think Rowling COULD sell the book for that amount, but she doesn't, and I'm going to take that as a sign that she is indeed a deity of some sort!!!!!

I LOVE YOU JOANNE ROWLING! (Cried a bit when I read the site, it's such an inspiring story of how Harry got known to the world)

(mild spoilers)

In the biography Rita Skeeter bullshitted for Dumbledore, I personally think, JK Rowling wrote it as a tribute to the horrific movies that are done for the book, especially that piece of shit Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore was portrayed as a deranged old man who talks loudly and tries to strangle Harry.

"LIES!" shouts Harry, at the article. Hear hear! It's the same for movie 4!!! Here's what I think of you, movie 4! *shows rude gesture to the imaginary shocked director*

So anyway, so far the book is proving to be quite depressing, with people dying here and there and I've already cried like 3 times in 7 chapters or something!

I don't see how they can finish finding all the horcruxes (horcruxes was underlined red to symbolize a spelling error, and I was like, "Did I spell the plural wrongly?" then I realised that it is a magical word obviously not in the dictionary, kua kua...) within the second half of the book, when there's still four to destroy!!

Well, anyway, I'm obviously not going to blog more because I am going to return to the best read of our time, and YOU ALL SHOULD GO BUY THE BOOK TOO!

I don't care if like a majority of you "don't give a batshit about this stupid book" or "only have seen the movies, no big deal..." this is my blog and I'd write about anything I want!

On a completely different tangent, Qihua also bought a DS lite (that makes like, ALL of my friends, almost), and there are two new colours, metallic rose and silver!

Nintendo should really pay me some money, I made so many people buy that shit!

Lovely.

Lovely day, you all!

(Ikea having clearance sale, I'm going!)

*******

Trivia about Harry Potter are welcome in the comments, BUT DO NOT POST THE ENDING.

My cousin was telling me that the Chinese papers reported the ending of the book, and that MADE ME SO FURIOUS!

If anyone dared to tell me the ending I'd box them in the face and demand they pay me back my $53.99!

I didn't go buy the fucking book only to have the ending revealed to me by some idiot!

Thus, I will not moderate the comments, and will not read them till I've finished the book, and if you intend to read the book you shouldn't read the comments too because I'm sure some idiot is a gigantic spoiler!

This is the time you can feel free to slander me on the comments. Yes yes, I'm a slut, I'm fat, whatever.

REFLECTION PERCEPTION

I have been thinking a lot lately about art which seems to reflect and art which seems to perceive. Sometimes I feel empty when I look at some art. The colours may be great, the work competently produced and so on, but once I look away nothing is left for me to think about. In a way mimicing mass media [I know the academics would find this interesting]. Whereas other art can grip your heart and imagination taking you to places within yourself. I recently saw an exhibition by a Brisbane artist called Michael Eather. I thought the whole exhibition was really interesting, but there were two really fantastic paintings which whirled with colour and movement, but were quietened by a single beautiful stingray which seemed to glide across this vibrant sea. I still think about these two paintings weeks after seeing them. To me that is a sign of art which is not merely reflective but has some sort of power of perception which is a result of the artist drawing in, mulling around, thinking, loving, imagining and then creating. I believe artists who do this may not be conscious of the process, but some sort of faith shows through.

I'm not sure that art which mimics mass media or tries to outdo photography can survive without art which perceives. There needs to be a balance. I believe the latter creates/invents new symbols which like all symbols mean more than words can say. Relective art is a reminder whereas perceptive art is a remembering of humanity which resonates at a level which some would say is spiritual, others may call it cellular memory. Whatever it is, the vibrations caused by perception awaken rather than remind.

I like to think my own art has this quality of perception and given the type of comments my work receives I believe this to be so. I have recently had some amazing reactions to my work from someone 'getting' the potential for Peace through art, someone feeling vibrations which I sensed disturbed them because he felt they were coming from somewhere else and someone who hugged me.

The painting above 'Heaven and Earth' will be in my next solo exhibition at Doggett Street Gallery, Newstead, Brisbane opening 12 th October.

Creating the Top 7 disgusting bloggers blog

Don't we all just love backlash?

No seriously, thought I'd share with you guys my mentality over creating this blog post of mine.

I woke up one morning with a sudden urge to create a blog entry about all the disgusting bloggers around, because it seems that recently there are so many of them?

What makes a disgusting blogger?

With the obvious exception of Maddox (and me!), disgusting bloggers, are, to me, either (1) pretending to be something they are not or (2) think way too highly of themselves (and not in a joking manner, either, like I do).

There are, of course, many other really ugly and gross people around blogging too, but as long as they know their place, I totally have no problems with them. =)

Some of you have asked me, "Why do you have to do this to all these innocent people? They didn't do anything to you!"

Well, look around you, people... Did I do anything to all those people who wrote all those mean stuff about me either? No sire, I didn't! And I tell you, people who write about me do it way worse... I guess I do deserve a bit of it. :D

So I thought to myself, what the fuck? Seems like it's a fair deal - I want fame, and I get criticism along with it, right?

Survive it, and I continue with my work. Can't take it? Stop blogging altogether, and change your url!

And surely you all concur, people on my list are all attention-seeking people wanting fame.

And so, if here and there some fuckers would write bad stuff about these people on the list, why not me? Why can't I? Just because I am a wee bit more famous?

Now that's not fair, is it? Afterall, my blog is a platform for my views, and I am free to write whatever I want on it.

These "victims", so called, are also free to rebuke whatever they want, if they so wish to.

Of course, the smart way out of this is to take the high road and act gracious about it instead of insulting me back (personally, I think, insulting me back would be so much more fun and creative), which will naturally get readers sympathizing with the underdog and making me seem like a bully.

DO I CARE THAT I AM CALLED A BULLY?

Not in the least bit! I'm already being deemed as bullying handicapped-toilet users, foreign workers, filipino rape "victims", why not disgusting bloggers to cap it all off?!

Please stop telling me whoever and whoever took it so graciously and therefore I suck. I DON'T CARE! I'm tired of being fake and PR and being the bigger person. I want to be the petty and smaller person! (childish, but blame Mike, he spoils me)

So anyway, as someone rightly commented, Maia did invite me to her album launch in September 2005. Then, I didn't know her well (I only met her once before, when she was still a singing teacher), but I'd say I sincerely liked her then.

Circumstances, and perhaps, people change, and when she was a star blogger with me, I started disliking her (or rather, her online self).

Once, she left a damn stupid and act-PC comment on my star blog, saying something sarcastic like I am very superficial since I judged some uncle in the airport in LA. I deleted that comment, and our relationship (so-called, the superficial one we used to have) soured.

The last thing I like to hear about myself is that I am being fake, and therefore I felt like I have the need to clarify.

I don't like all these 5 people's blog persona, and it is unlikely I will like them in real life either (I thought Celeste was absurd in real life but didn't dislike her, although her blog personality is like... barf), so I don't care if they dislike me (please do dislike me, I don't know what to do if you guys are nice to me, it totally throws me off course).

It is, however, inevitable that I will see some of these people in real life (Maia and probably Nicole, whom I don't mind), and I guess if I see them I'd just pretend not to see them?

Sigh, wish Singapore was not so small.

Somebody else said something about me being fired from, supposedly, various media, and therefore, I am the real sore loser here.

Just to clarify, I didn't actually get "fired" from Stomp. My 3 month contract ended, and it didn't get renewed. In this rein are also May and Choy, Jaymee Ong, etc. I don't know if they chose not to continue or not, but seeing that blogging once a week is not that tough, I'd say maybe they also didn't get their contract renewed.

It's no big deal - I didn't fit into their rigid child-safe blog criteria, and therefore, I can't do what I do best (write in-your-face blog entries), and so there is no point in keeping me.

Nothing wrong with that.

Speaking of retailiation, Steven Lim does it best, of course. =)



Honestly, that man's a classic. He says I am a chicken pie (mmm, delicious!) and also that I am horny, among other things. And he asks Wanbao to sue me!! =)

He also kept talking to Mike for a good part of the video, but Mike can't understand a single word he said because of *snigger snigger* his perfect English.

Mike's like, "What is this man raving about, man?"

(Gillian says that Girls Out Loud gave him a meagre amount for his part in the show, something like $20 to cover his cab fare or something)

Road Trip Epiosde 6 - The True or False Game

Enjoy!

Top Seven Most Disgusting Bloggers (In the Singapore blogosphere)

STEVEN LIM

The thing thats the most disgusting about him is: His face.

Or more specifically, his eyes? The look in his eyes? Somehow, he just looks damn perverted everytime he looks at someone in "earnesty".

Honestly! His body comes in a close second to in disgustingness to his face - it's old, flabby, sweaty, and JUST FUCKING GROSS!!

Worse of all, he loves to dress in near-nakedness, most of the time wearing his 5-seconds-of-fame-in-Singapore-Idol undies.

I'm sorry to tell you this Steven, but yellow is seriously not your colour!!!!!!!!!!! You know what's your colour though? A BLACK ARABIC SUIT COVERING YOUR EVERYTHING.

I don't know about you guys but everytime I see the curly black hairs on his inner thighs, I have an image of his penis, perhaps around 9 cm in length, limp and also covered in the grotesque hairs as well as an overhanging foreskin with smegma on it.

IT THEN PROCEEDS TO MAKE ME BARF!!!!!

I need to STOP IT WITH THE OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION!!

But honestly, it's not my fault is it?

You can almost "see" the horror between his legs too, can't you????????????????

Nothing more appealing than a sweaty old man with greying undies

I know. Gross. I couldn't find the photo of him being completely naked, but I guess that's good else I probably can't survive to finish this entry.

My little encounter with Mr Lim, sabo-ed by my director: Click if you are interested.

He kept spitting saliva out when he spoke. When I pointed this out to him, he replied, "Oh is it? (that cringable smile) No lar, raining."

I cringed so hard I turned into a lime.

Unfortunately, I was a lime without an umbrella, because Mr Lim really continued speaking. Too much.

After this entry, Mr Lim is probably gonna send me an email saying something like he wants to sue me for defamation - anything to prolong the drama, as usual with him.

When he reaches his lawyer's office to tell the lawyer about his intentions (I defamed his reputation and all), I imagine the lawyer will stare blankly at him for 2 seconds, waiting to see if Steven is joking.

When he realised this is all for real, the lawyer will laugh so hard he will roll on the floor, clutching his stomach in hilarity, all while emitting whoops of laughter.

Steven looks on at him, perplexed. Surely this behaviour is not normal for lawyers?

The lawyer then says, "WHAT... reputation????" and continues laughing.

Ugly, AND thinks the world of himself? Bad combination.

MAIA LEE

Every Monday, Shuyin and I will be vomiting while talking to each other on msn, because Maia's blog entries are THAT disgusting.

"Oh, please, stop asking me about Sly!" exclaims Maia repeatedly, because, well, OF COURSE EVERYONE'S INTERESTED IN NEWS FROM 9,000 YEARS AGO.

But guess who talks about him all the time?

Even bothering to talk a photo like him, of course

Yup, you know, because Maia is really famous for her singing and not that one-time scandal. Not. She know thats that's the only thing interesting about her, and she is smart enough to bank on it - all the time.

When I first joined Star blog, I was really surprised... Why does Maia get 300 comments on each blog entry, when her entries are so mundane?

Then I realised: More than half of the comments are left by herself, because she spends like 24 hours a day chatting with the 3 or so people who read her blog. -_-

I can't even begin to describe how loserish that is for a so-called celebrity, pandering to these loserish fans, so I'm just going to continue quoting Maia's ludicrously contradicting entries:


I quote (from her blog title):

"I know a fellow Singaporean because he... just said my name. I'm not famous, I'm just notorious."


Maia... Two words for you: HAS BEEN.

What were you, fifth in some contest 3 years ago? Who the fuck remembers you?

My favourite blog entry from Maia is this one, about style.

She said, "I don't quite bother to dress up since I'm not exactly anywhere near being ugly."

... except that every single photo she put up had her in extravagant make-up and clothes that would take hours to prepare.

If you are fucking vain, just fucking admit it instead of pretending not to care!

"Don't bother to dress up" huh? "Not anywhere near ugly?" THEN WHY DO TWO NOSE JOBS IF THAT'S NOT A PERMANENT "DRESS UP" TO COVER UP UGLINESS??

My second favourite quote from Maia is this: "I have loads of accessories, all in leather and metal studs. Rocker chains, belts, cuffs, leash (hehe), gloves etc. Honestly they are heavy but I love that biker-rocker look (but not the emo punk crap)."

Ok, ok, I get it.

So "biker-rocker look" is hot, but "emo punk" is crap.

I'd tell you what, Maia... BOTH ARE CRAP! They are stupid style choices created by the media, and people who believe in these stupid things enough are just, well, stupid!

Isn't it ridiculous that someone who is so into a stupid social norm is calling another (similar) social norm crap?

It's like me saying I believe in golden unicorns but, oh, people who believe in mermaids are dumb.

Having nothing interesting to say about girls serving National service, Maia resorts to the oldest trick in the book:

Dressing up in some army print ribbon and calling it a day.

Boy, she does make it easy for women to respect her, doesn't she?

When I said to a friend, "Why would she put up that picture? It will just make all the girls disrespect and dislike her", my friend replied, "Don't be stupid, all the girls already disrespect and dislike her." - pretty to the point, my friend is.

Isn't it funny? Stomp forbade me to use the word "bastard", but such respectable photos are allowed for the little children supposedly reading Stomp for the star bloggers' intellectual views on social issues!

If only I knew I was allowed to post up semi-naked photos! Maybe then I won't get fired, dammit.

Last quote (She can start a quote book all by herself soon!):

Maia: Aawww... Julen, you made me cry.

Julen: Maia, you are such a softie lor.

Maia: Piang, of course I'm a softie. Rockers look tough but are emotional people you know... and I cry all the time and I have to smell my smelly pillow and carry it with me around the house.

OKIE............................ You got to forgive me for writing this small snippet about you, but as you know, "professional bloggers" are very critical on the outside, but lovely and warm on the inside. "Rockers!!!" *Rolls eyes so hard they roll to the back of my head*

The last time I heard, rockers all called themselves rockers, which is why they are rock. MUAAHAHA

Trying so very, very hard and failing

"ICE ANGEL"

Ok, I know my internet nickname is also very act-chio, but seriously, nothing beats "Ice Angel". There is no part of her that looks icey, and definitely not angelic, unless angels looked like her, in which then angels are definitely over-rated.

What's next, Marshmellow Princess? Or Fire Fairy? MUAHAHAHA... Or or or... Baby kitty? FendiGal? Don't stop me I am having so much fun!!! Pinky Bunniiex!!

MUAHAHA

Ok, I know I am picking on a young girl here (to be honest, 17 is not that young - if I were 17 and called my Ice Angel my peers will all look down on me), but what I reallyyyyyyyy cannot stand about her is:

Her photos.

Different lighting, same ugliness

Man, that's hard to swallow.

I don't know *shakes head*, the whole no-flash-grainy-open-eyes-wide-pasty-like-fuck-purse-lips thing is not working for me.

What's harder to swallow than a ridiculously contrived and aunty photo is... People saying that the photo is hot.

Looks like someone skipped their teenhood
and jumped straight to Sheng Siong.

They need to have their eyes dug out and re-checked.

Please, you say she is hot?

This, and This is hot. NOT this:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

No, I'm not about to hug you at all.

I know she didn't technically do anything wrong (except killing my eyes) and it's not her fault she looks like that, but the way she takes every picture just makes me barf.

If you set up a program that auto-scrolls all these blogs over and over again while tying me onto a chair with my eyes pried open with toothpicks, I'd eventually barf so much, I'm turn aneroxic.

Really don't need to try soooooo hard to act chio la, please. That, and you need to throw away all the blue nail polishes, pluck your brows, strip your mustache, and GET RID OF THOSE FUCKING GLASSES. And throw away all your current clothes.

Cannot take teeny-boppers and their photos

LAO ZHAO BOR

Honestly woman.

I have no problems with old ladies acting young, but...

kua kua...

You need to stop showing us your flabby arms.

Or swimming with condoms.

Or claiming that random people who take photos with you are your "fans".

Everyone knows writing stuff about me gets interest.

So people use it as a cheap shot to publicity for themselves.

Writing BAD stuff about me to get a reaction? An even cheaper shot.

IT IS SOOOOOOOOOO OVERDONE.

Ok, so you dislike something I did that was high-profile and heatedly discussed in the front page of newspapers.

Who gives a shit? Honestly, most bloggers claim they dislike me ANYWAY, so it's really NOTHING NEW.

Digressing, to all the bloggers who criticise me and etc rubbish I did that didn't please you - Did you think that by saying that I did something wrong, it ups your morality? Oh, it is so easy isn't it? I just say I hate child-molesters like Michael Jackson, and automatically it makes me seem like a good, kind person who loves kids. But who KNOWS? I might molest animals behind all that facade!!

So fuck off with all the criticism - it doesn't make you look any better. No matter what you blog about me, you are still going to be the mediocre blogger you are - well, once the heated reaction about a xiaxue-related post dies down. :)

End of digression.

Since, I quote from LZB's blog,

"For those who think I 'used' her to boost my readership, I think you are wrong. If I really want to do that, I should have left her a comment in her blog! So her readers can link me from there! Instead, I'm bringing my readers to her blog cos a lot of my readers don't know who I'm talking about"

... you think that by writing about me you have given me "publicity", here's your gift in return. :)

How do you like it? My 30,000 readers flocking to your site? Oh, you said you were very popular? How about NOW?!

Believe it or not, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 10 OR SO PEOPLE WHO READ ME BECAUSE YOU LINKED ME.

People who haven't seen my site before but have seen yours must have been your ancient friends using their grandson's computer, and who the fuck sells things to ancient people?

You think I'd wanna advertise adult diapers on my blog?

Tsk. I shall have some respect for the elderly and stop commenting on people who came on the same boat as Sang Nila Utama.

p/s: I just realised something. Real age is nothing on the internet, because it could well be a monkey updating the old lady's blog. Since that's the case, we should count a blogger's age by how long he or she has been blogging.

This means I am a OLD OLD 4-year OLD blogger, and she is practically a n00b.

N00bs have NO RIGHTS to criticize old bloggers, they don't know shit.

(The old lady is turning to her grandson and yelling, "DIDI! What is n-zero-zero-b?")

Old people are smelly

MADDOX

Maddox is the most awesome "web-master" (he says he hates blogs and is not a blogger) ever, but recently he has been updating once every 300 years or so. It's making me get a nervous breakdown everytime I open his site and see nothing new.

- I open the site

- I close my eyes, praying for an update

- I gently open my eyes, scared

- There is no update

- I check again to make sure - and there is indeed no update

- I spasm and foam at the mouth, eventually fainting on the floor

- I wake up and wonder where I am. When I recall what happened, I worry for Maddox's safety

- Life resumes after 3 hours


HATE YOU MADDDOXXXXXXXXX!!!

(Maddox is not from Singapore but I had to put one more person in else top 6 just sounds stupid.)

It's almost always worth the wait

XIAXUE

Since many people have requested for me to include myself in this blog entry, I thought I would.

Afterall, how many people can be more disgusting than me?

I'd write about myself in a weird third-person perspective MIMICKING THE ABSURD WAY PEOPLE USUALLY TALK ABOUT ME. (this means that I'm being sarcastic and I don't actually think I'm disgusting, for stupid people who didn't understand. Sigh... This blog could be so much more succinct.)

WHO THE HELL IS THIS XIAXUE PERSON? I just visited her blog today for the first time, and I am shocked!

She is so rude and uses so much vulgarities! I can't believe such a person can actually have her own TV show!

Her show is so stupid, it's just about her doing stupid things, and Rozz is cool! Xiaxue, stupid!

Xiaxue is so FAKE. She had a nose job! So what if she openly admits to doing it? Still fake!

She is so hao lian of her stupid angmoh boyfriend. SPG! She never ever had any boyfriends of any other races, right? I can't be bothered to read her archives, but I am sure I am right and shall go on to accusing her. My accessment of her must be highly accurate.

Ewwww, Xiaxue, stop showing us your fake, act chio photoshopped pictures! You know that in real life you are just short and ugly!

So what if it's your blog and you can put up whatever you want and I can just not read it? You know you are now a professional blogger so you should listen to your readers right?

What is this thing about her saying that bangalas molest women during Christmas and NYE on Orchard road? RACIST! Never mind that there are reports all concurring on this... This is not a social issue, this is racism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY MUST REPORT HER TO THE WHATEVER GOVT BOARD!

Hope all her advertisers cancel on her. I'm going right now to complain to Stomp and whatever company else she works for.

I'm not being spiteful and malicious just because I am even fatter and uglier than Xiaxue! NO! It's not true I'm jealous of her having an easy life! It's because I want JUSTICE!

Oh, Stomp already fired her? Good! That whore. I don't have evidence that she fucks around, but I'm sure she is a whore due to her PAINTED MAKE-UP FACE.

And she looks like a tranny. And she is short. Fat. Ugly. Untalented. UNDESERVING OF WHATEVER SHE HAS GOT AND I DON'T!

I am not jealous.

Fat and short, but always interesting

CELESTE CHEN

Like, OMG ITS CELESTE CHEN!

Sisters Nicole and Celeste made ST headline recently, something about having 16,000 friends, if by "friends" they mean "lecherous desperate losers wanting online attention because they can't get any in real life".

Both of them are attention whores, obviously (not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you), and it is pretty apparent their aim in life is to get famous and they are doing everything to get it...

... but there's something just really gross about seeing a skinny little girl trying so hard to be sexy and putting up a raunchy dancing video of herself dry humping on youtube...

... Right...



Pardon me, I forgot I was writing this entry because I was so enthralled by the patch of hair that covers up approximately 66% of her face. That's a beautiful patch of hair.. so artistically arranged...

*Snaps out of it*

I tried to read a little of Celeste's blog, but HONESTLY WOMAN!

What's with the half-fucked grammar and the TINY PICTURES?? Who's going to click on every picture? I know, NOT ANTS! Coz to them, the photos are humongous!

Not that there is anything new to see, all the photos are of patch-hair-face and her boyfriend, who is OTHERWISE NAME-DROPPED TO DEATH: XU BIN, handsome by-product of Campus Superstar --- And snagging him must be the proudest thing Celeste has ever done.


How can we tell?

Nasi Kangkang...
I don't know why that word just popped into my head...

Because every other blog entry mentions him: By his full name.

Isn't it funny?

"I miss my Xu bin..." --- That's as weird as Wentworth Miller's girlfriend blogging, "I miss my Wentworth Miller." OR "Wonder if Wentworth Miller is going to call me soon?"

YES WE KNOW HE WAS A WEE BIT FAMOUS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TELLING US HIS FULL NAME!

*roll eyes*

(I don't care if his name only has 2 parts, it is still apparent she is just name-dropping)


The other thing we know is that he doesn't seem to call her often.

Maybe he is sick of being dragged to be shown off on her blog via numerous photographing sessions everytime he is with her.

Celeste: "Hey Xu bin, come take a picture with me!"



Xu Bin: "But why? I just want to relax and watch... OH ALRIGHT, JUST PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN... Relax, I'd take the photo, I'd be your toyboy, just... just... alright your hour is up Celeste, you owe me $35.99."

I know... It's mean to judge people based on looks and maybe this Xu Bin person 1) really loves her 2) is totally disgusting, happy to camwhore and attention-seeking as well, but hey...

Now now... I know you guys are thinking I am jealous, but honestly dude, little boys are not my type. (I prefer green-eyed angmohs)

I don't deny I am feeling sort of, you know... that Celeste is very undeserving, simply because she is showing him off so badly, and it's like, you know, you just want to punch her in the face and pay a whore to seduce her guy away, failing which, just punch her in the face.

AND STOP WITH ALL THE "HE IS MINE AND ONLY MINE" shit Celeste... After you are done with him, I don't think anyone wants him anymore.

Nothing more gross than a crazily possessive unpretty girl
acting like she deserves a handsome boyfriend.

***** END *****

p/s: The blobs on the disgusting meter is supposed to be pools of vomit.

Sorry...

Mike is sick so I'm taking care of him...

INTO THE DISTANCE

When I lived in Goondiwindi [on the border of Queensland and NSW] I used to exhibit in Brisbane and other places in S.E Qld. Since moving to Brisbane seven years ago and having exhibited internationally I have been asked to make some presentations about creative industry export. One of my 'lines' is to say that exhibiting in Brisbane from Goondiwindi was like exhibiting in another country! The only differences were not having to deal with foreign currency exchange rates and huge cultural differences. I say 'huge' because ther are cultural differences even between rural and urban Australia. They are subtle but they do exist.

Recently I have had to make some public comments about trade and export. I have thought about this quite a lot. The world's history can be mapped through the impetus to exchange goods ie: trade. From the earliest of times when bartering took place 'trade' has fulffiled various needs. As civilisataion becomes more sophisticated these needs are accompanied by wants.

Needs and wants are very basic human characteristics. Maslow and various other psuchologists have tried to identify the impetus and the motivations for human endevour. I think trade and export are fundamental oucomes of human existence.

Trade and export rely on relationships between individual people, small and large commercial enterprises and countries doing business. Without these relationships other types of interaction maybe different ie: political, diplomatic. Whilst world trade and export activity is highly complex their existence relies on being able to fulfill human needs and wants. In the troubled times we live trade and export are important conduits to keep lines of communication and connection open.

On Saturday I opened an exhibition of fabulous paintings and sculptures by Robyn Bauer at her own gallery Robyn Bauer Studio Gallery, 54 Latrobe Tce, Paddington. www.robynbauergallery.com.au The exhibition is called The Chess Exhibition and is about chess, birds and Robyn's personal symbolism that combines the two. I highly recommend a visit to the exhibition. It is one to make you think there is a link between Heaven and Earth...after all the ancients believed birds were the natural connection between the two. The exhibition continues until 28 July.

Driving Into The Distance Oil on linen 80 x 120 cm

GEEZ!

I spent, like, the last 2 hours approving comments (which is a tedious process by itself no thanks to Haloscan...), and I had like what, 42 pages of 15 comments each to approve???

I just asked you guys for an opinion out of curiosity, doesn't mean I'm really going to write about whatever has the most votes!

And anyway, I still have 28 pages of comments worth to approve (more to come with this entry, and I'm really looking forward to approving them).

If you want some content to read while I write something more interesting (yes, yes, either option 1 or 3, I'd go think about it), you can go read this site - since I blogged for 4 hours straight there.

Personally, I don't know why so many of you chose 1 and 3!

My personally choice, if I were a blogder and could force "Xiaxue" to blog about either one of those three, it is the pre-photoshopped photos...

... simply because there is some harm inflicted on her (by her I mean me) if she publishes that (those photos are embarrassing) - whereas for the other two choices it is just a matter of time before she blogs it out whenever her blog gets dry.

*shrugs*

Logical isn't it? That, and the fact that I know how drastically different I look with photoshop done. Oh, you can't even start to imagine... But hey, since you guys are not interested.

Good blog post by tomorrow, I promise.

YES I SAID I PROMISE! Swear on my tamagotchi's life. May it die if I break my promise.

p/s: Wanbao reported some shit article about me being fired from Stomp, obviously getting that piece of info from my blog AGAIN. I swear to god, that paper is so lousy, it has to siphon semi exciting news via blogs. Hey Wanbao, I just took a shit, you wanna report about that? The shit looks a bit, erm, brown, and normal. Guess I'm healthy! Interesting news, isn't it?

07-07-07

I'm sure all of you would have heard of Live Earth!!

Today is 07-07-07 (unless you wanna nitpick about the 2 in the 2007 but personally I'd let it go), and Live Earth is happening right now in Singapore!

What is this big hooha about this Live Earth thing? According to their website, it's "... a series of concerts to take place across all 7 continents on 7 July 2007 and an urgent call-to-action to start taking steps to save our planet."

So yes... I've been asked to do my part to blog for 4 hours tonight from 5pm till 9pm at One Fullerton (I sincerely hope the people there will provide me dinner), so if you want to catch me there, you are welcome to visit!!!!!!!

Mike will be there too, in case any spgs want to come and try to seduce him.

For more information, you can click here and here.

*************

p/s: As a note of interest, if you guys can only choose 1 of these 3 topics for me to blog about, which will be your choice?

1) True love story of how Mike and I got together
2) Pre-photoshop pre-nose-job pictures exposed!! The Real Xiaxue
3) Top 5 most disgusting bloggers in the Singaporean Blogosphere

Choose only one!!!

Indulgzing is not just for the super rich - Part II

Advertorial

MUAHAHAHA!!

The day Indulgz announces its new menu is the day I am happy!

Some of you have seen my first advertorial for them (that was a happy day too!) and this is my second!

(Digressing a little bit, I'm very poor thing lor... I was editing the photos for this entry, and the photos look so delicious that I got reallllllly hungry, but all there was to eat at home is Maggi mee, which I just ate. It's disgusting, when all I want is good, yummy Indulgz food.)

Indulgz Bistro is situated at Tan Quee Lan Street, Bugis, directly opposite the DHL balloon!

I invited Shuyin, Wanyi and Eekean this time (since Wanyi missed out the last time due to her being sick, and Weili is now overseas), but WY had to go to something the very last minute, so Mike took over instead!

Mike was so happy he might have skipped around a bit. Like a bumblebee. I love Transformers!

Back to the topic...

Welcome in!

Shuyin and EK are ungrateful twerps! They were late!

Eekean being even later than Shuyin...

We started without her and her lawyerly woes.

First up was an alcoholic drink... a new kind:

$12.50

A FLIRTINI! (geddit? Pun on martini?)

This is apple liquor with slices of green apple floating on top.

It is sweet with a hint of fresh green apples and a secret ingredient that none of us could guess...

The alcoholics of the table (ie Mike and Shuyin) snatched it up

And notice how there are no straws or cocktail forks?

The secret...

Christin says that it is for us to pick up with our fingers seductively!

I'm obviously not seductive in this photo but you could pick it up while looking at your partner, smack your lips before putting the apple in, or lick your fingers afterwards... See! The possibilities are endless (provided you are not like fugly)!

Apparently, don't drink this in front of your father/mother/siblings. (*hums Curse of the Golden Flower song)

I drank this in front of Shuyin and she looked at me like she wanted to make out. I shook my head at her. She then looked very downcast.

$5.50

An interesting soup!

It's chilled to a perfect temperature (too cold and it becomes like a dessert, too warm and it's yucky), and its sweet instead of savoury like your normal soup!

The taste of fresh peaches is really refreshing, and it's blended with premium white wine - just a hint of the wine as an aftertaste to round it up.

Somehow, this soup made me really hungry. I guess that's the point of an appetizer, huh?

Soup contestant number 2...

$7.80

HOW DELICIOUS IS THIS?!

I love this soup soooo much! Mike too, for that matter...

Lobster bisque, salty, creamy and seafoody (I know there is no such word, but you know what I mean), completed with real fresh crabmeat that's even plucked out of the crab shell for you!

I like this soup so much I even gave it a star because it is my favourite! (I ceased giving stars after this picture because I have too many favourites)

And best of all, the price!

Me, to Christin: "WOAH! How much is this ah?"

Christin: "$7.80."

Me: "Shit man, next time I come here I really don't know which soup to order already lar! I like the tomato one and the mushroom one and now this too? How?!"

Christin: "Hahaha... Order all lor."

That woman wants me broke!

Exactly what the picture says it is





$12.00

We got served the classic Indulgz favorite again, Camembert Cheese!

Deep-fried cheese with a soft, watery inside, accompanied compatibly by authentic berry compote.

How do I say this? Yes... Deep-fried to perfection!

Christin says that this requires skills coz you have to melt the inside and have the outside just the right crispiness!

The mixed berry sauce complements the nutty creamy taste of the camembert cheese.

Finally, Miss Big Shot arrives!

There was this office crisis according to her. And when she came she still yakked on the phone for a long time!

We all stared at her angrily but she smiled at us and continued talking... That is until I took her cheese and threw it squarely at her forehead.

When Christin saw the cheese burst and dripping on Eekean's forehead, she frowned at me, but I pointed at Shuyin, who looks exactly the sort who will throw delicious fried cheese around. Christin gave Shuyin a stern look.

Haha... I'm an excellect story-writer. It all ends in comedic violence.

I'm joking. Eekean gobbled up her cheese before I could throw it. What? If she wasn't so fast I'd have thrown it at her! I am that violent and scary.

$9.80

Mesclun (mixed garden salad in Italian) which is a mix of 7 different salad vegetables - all tossed in Indulgz's special honey balsamic sauce! To add, some avocado slices, fresh peeled prawns, cherry tomatoes and a healthy sprinkling of sunflower seeds.

The special ingredient here is obviously the avocados (my first time eating them, to be honest), which taste fantastic with the cherry tomatoes!

Just in case there are people like me, no, the avocado doesn't taste like facial foam. Interesting isn't it, when it is so good for skin? It's actually creamy and buttery. :)

Five prawns, and I wanted to fight for the last one, but everyone just let me have it. Boring!

Eekean's and Shuyin's personal favourite up next:

$23.90

While eating Mos burger one day, I asked some random friend, "Why must it be bread kiap meat, or like, rice kiap meat? Why cannot meat kiap bread leh?"

This random friend (I think it's Shuyin), replied that then it will be very drippy and messy.

Indulgz one-upped me and did this Portobello Burger - MUSHROOM KIAP MEAT!

With a large portobello mushroom as your "burger breads", there is no longer a worry that it will be dry!

The portobello mushroom's juice (and oh, how juicy is is) infuses the chicken breast-meat patty - which is surprisingly soft and tender!

This dish is served with Indulgz's trademark truffled mash potatoes (v v good) and mesclun.

AND SURPRISE SURPRISE!

I was cutting the patty when I exclaimed at Christin, "WOAH! GOT CHEESE ONE!"

And indeed there was

I said, "Why you never tell me got cheese inside the patty, you waiting for me to find out by myself then praise you right?"

Christin just smiled mysteriously.

For $23.90 this burger is worth it, considering its novelty and the fact that portobello mushrooms are really expensive!

$26.90

I don't know much about beef and its different cuts and qualities, but I know that this is one yummy steak!!!

This quality ribeye steak undergoes Indulgz's strict policy of not freezing its beef ever, and instead, just chilled during storage.

Chilled beef has blood ooze out and even when its cooked to well-done, you can still see the pink meat inside.



This ribeye is so soft and tender its like a tenderloin, really. Christin says that it is treated with a secret recipe so that its juices are retained and won't be lost in the process of char-grilling.

My gobbling up the steak is testament to that!

Served with mashed potatoes and mesclun.

Take a short break... Photo time!


LATECOMERS Shuyin and Eekean


Mike and I...

Wait... There is more food!

$16.90/$16.90 + $1.50

Indulgz's famous Crispy Pasta got a make-over!

For those of you who remember (or bothered to click the last advertorial), which dish used to be in cream sauce, but for customers who think too much cream might be jelat (overwhelming), Indulgz is proud to present its new creation of tomato cream sauce!!

And it's nice!!

The pasta is angel-hair pasta deep-fried till crispy, a la "sheng mian". Interesting isn't it?

And in this version, besides the usual chicken strips and mushroom slices, there are also tomato bits. Yum!

Your choice of tomato cream or just normal cream.

$18.80

With a generous thick layer of melted cheese, real juicy ribeye minced beef (chilled, never frozen), tomato based rice and all sitted in a claypot, I have to say that this is one of our favourite dishes too!

Mike says it is a lot like lasagne.. :)

Christin says that beef bolognaise is not a good choice to have outside, since the beef for bolognaise is very likely to be leftover unfresh cheap cuts of beef that have been frozen for a long time - since bolognaise beef is minced and less easy to get found out.

At Indulgz though, the beef is guaranteed to be fresh, handminced ribeye - meant to give extra chew, sweetness, and value in this dish!

I, glutton

This marks the end of the main courses...

Eekean is happy


Shuyin is still pecking at the food...
Although by this time we are all predictably SUPER FULL.

Mike is happy too but I can't take this photo since he is beside me.

And this next item, my dear readers, is a competition to my favourite dessert of creme brulee!

$6.80

And it won!

Indulgz incredibly made its old panna cotta EVEN BETTER now - infused with Earl Grey!

The custard-like panna cotta is extremely soft, sweet (but not too much), wobbly and smooth, with an even consistancy that melts in your mouth in the most gratifying manner!

The bottom of the glass is where the earl grey favour is, and it mixes so well, I swear earl grey should be invented as a companion for panna cotta and not a tea.

I love this love this love this!

$6.60

So cute, this is called Elvis Pop!

Brownie that's rolled in fudge (already it sounds good) and then rolled in lots of chopped almond nuts!!

This brownie is made by Indulgz's own baker so it's not overwhelmingly sweet. Served warm to us and comes with a big scoop of delicious house vanilla ice cream.

Mike gobbled this up, citing "This is my favourite dessert" as his excuse. Sigh. Angmohs.

We were then treated to Indulgz's thick shakes at $6.80 each.

Smooth and sweet vanilla milkshake with real marshmellow bits and two big marshmellows on top!

A refreshing drink to quench thirst or to clear your palate... This is a bit sour and blended with ice.

Double attack of butterscotch AND caramel, with generous dollops of caramel swirled around the cup!

This is my favourite shake EVER, and Christin devastated me by saying she is taking this off the menu!!

I begged and begged her (Mike absolutely loves this drink too) and even told her an embarrassing secret...

I like the drink so much that after I finish it I use my fingers to dig up the remainder caramel!

Christin looked at me judgementally (kidding) but agreed to keep the drink in the menu!

So go buy it already before she changes her mind and takes it out again!

$6.80 may not be as amazingly cheap as the rest of Indulgz's food, but that's because the shakes are all humongous! Can also be shared with a friend if you don't want so much.

$13.50

By popular demand, Indulgz conjured alcoholic thick shakes that are unique to them!!

This one is house vanilla ice-cream infused with real lychee liquor and it is really nice and not too sweet!

Shuyin liked it so much that she drank half of it before I remembered to take a photo... -_-

And this marks the end of my entry...

Christin: "You take the empty plate for what?"

Me: "Show that we really like your food mah!"



Happy people!!!


***********

This new menu is going to be launched this Friday (6th), and to celebrate Indulgz's first anniversary, Indulgz will be giving away a 10% discount for the first 50 customers starting from the launch date!

You have to state that you are my blog reader (and that you think I'm gorgeous and also the best) before you are entitled to this discount.

Thinking of nice places to eat that won't burn your pocket, huh?

No doubt la, Indulgz is the place to go.

Call 6238 7032, or email at enquiry@indulgz.com for reservations.

If you want to see more of their food selections, hop over to Indulgz' website.

See ya guys there!